I'm sad and mad

On Wednesday there was a story in the news about a toddler who was found in a dumpster in LaVista. Not the body of a toddler, a living, breathing toddler. How much more depraved can a human being get? Even animals don't abandon their healthy offspring, but for some reason someone thought this was a thing they could do. When I think of what could have happened to that baby... turns out, he is 11 months old. What kind of filth did he put in his mouth? He could have been injured or killed by someone dumping something heavy on top of him. The dumpster could have been emptied and he could have been killed. Who knows how long he was in there? I'm disgusted and amazed that someone could have so little thought as to that baby's fate.

Coincidentally, down near Lauritzen Gardens near 7th and Bancroft a female's body was found lying in a ditch. Not so coincidentally, it was this child's mother. Yesterday, an Amber Alert was issued for the older brother, age 5, of the toddler. They thought he may have been abducted by someone driving the mother's silver Jeep Liberty, and they gave the license number.

Today, they found the Jeep,  abandoned. Now, this is where I get mad... There was no one in or around the Jeep, the 5 year old is still missing BUT THE AUTHORITIES CANCELED THE AMBER ALERT!!!   Apparently there has to be a vehicle involved for there to be an Amber Alert. What kind of genius thought that one up? So, theoretically, if someone snatches a child out of a park, its own yard, or a school carnival, and no one sees the kidnapper's vehicle they won't issue an Amber Alert. Or, in this case, they cancel it. What the hell?   So we have a baby in a dumpster, a dead mother, stolen an abandoned car, and a missing 5 year old, but no law enforcement agency in the country will have an active alert for the child. Why bother to have Amber Alerts at all then?

On to more pleasant topics. Today was our 27th wedding anniversary! We went to dinner at Legend's,  nobody makes a better burger IMHO. We were stuffed when we left there! We didn't do anything special afterwards, went to get Bitsy food, then went to Walmart for Milk Bones, a new, bigger dog bed, and rug shampoo. Married life! It's a thrill a minute! Just kidding - I prefer the old, comfortable kind of love.

Mom and Fred had to help Mickey-D to the Bridge yesterday. So sad. They had him a loooong time. Fred was pretty much inconsolable. He wanted Mick to die at home, but he changed his mind. Poor Mick was really suffering from CHF and a hugely enlarged heart. Poor baby.

Gale got another rescue dachshund to keep Audrey company. Her name is Lady, but Gale wants to call her Lucy, so for now she's Lucy-Lady.  She's a standard red, I can't wait to see her. Right now she has an analysis gland that was abscessed,  so we'll wait until she feels better.

So, in 6 days I'm going to be 58. Yikes! Next month is my 40th class reunion! Double yikes! I don't feel so bad though. Looking at everyone on FB, I never realized I went to school with so many bald, gray-haired, old people!

Happy Spring?

I thought maybe warmer weather was here a week or so ago. I was wrong.

We celebrated Bob's and Meg's birthdays last weekend. Family things aren't as much fun as they used to be. As we've gotten older, and kids have gotten older, we don't have much in common. B & L didn't say one word to us the entire time. D & S and their kids are much friendlier. Their kids have always been well-behaved and fun to be around, we did talk to them a little bit.

After the other families left, we found out our nephew is in rehab for an alcohol problem. Immediately, his wife was jumped on as the cause. I get so mad at this family sometimes. His wife is the best thing that ever happened to that guy. If it weren't for her, I can seriously see him still living at home, and probably not working. In his entire life he has never been able to keep a job. He has nothing set aside for retirement because he's never had a job long enough to get into a pension or 401 program. He's gotten so much money from my MIL to go to college it's ridiculous. He goes for one or two classes, then quits because he "doesn't have time", which loosely translated means he won't be a millionaire without having to work for it, so he loses interest. He's been doing that since he graduated from high school. He never officially drops the class, either; if he did, he'd get a refund to pay his grandmother back. Heaven forbid that happens! His wife, meanwhile, managed to get her Master's degree. Good thing, since they have 4 kids!  All you hear from the family is how selfish his wife is, because he hasn't been able to go to school. Drives me nuts. I don't understand everyone's need to bash her, when she's the one with the drive and ambition to keep the family together. She got an excellent job out of state several years ago and the family moved - since the nephew couldn't find a job here anyway. Now, according to everyone, that's the reason why he's been so unhappy. Oh please... He had a job back here last year that was supposed to be a great job, good pay, good benefits, etc. Once he got here and started working,  he immediately started complaining that he had to get up in the morning, drive all the way to work, then have to work until 5:30 or so, then come home and be so tired he'd fall asleep and then have to get up and do it all over the next day! Poor thing! Turns out he was drinking a lot then, plus talking every night for hours with his wife and kids. Steve made the comment that with all the complaining he was doing, he was just setting everything up to quit. Sure enough... He had to take an insurance class to keep the job, but he just had no time to study, because he was working SO hard. Sure enough, he went back home... but that's all his wife's fault too.

See, the thing is, I like his wife, I like her a lot. She's smart and funny and an all around good person, and I hate to be around when this talking behind her back goes on. This isn't the first time this has happened. It seems that when ever the family gets together his wife becomes the topic of the day. I'm sick of it. Plus, I wonder if that's how they talk behind her back, but are SO nice to her face, how do they talk about me when I'm not around? I really wouldn't care at this point. If they don't like me that's fine, saves me from having to go listen to their BS.  Just say the word and I'll stay away! The problem is, I know if I say anything or get sick enough of listening to them to say what I really think, then Steve will never hear the end of it, which will cause problems for us - even though he is totally with me on this. Life is never boring, that's for sure...

Amidst all this other stuff, my baby girl turned 34! I'm trying to figure out how that happened. It seems like just the other day she was in kindergarten, or high school, for that matter! Now, it's Hailey who's getting ready to start school! My granddaughter!  I'm so proud of Meg! We have our moments, but I love her to pieces. I hope the Lord hears my prayers and she and J get the thing they desire most.

That's it for now, I guess. Peace!

Happy New Year

Welcome, welcome 2015!  I always feel a bit nostalgic at the beginning of a new year, thinking about everything that's passed in the outgoing year. Good things, like the grand election results in November, kicking the Democrats to the curb; and sad things, like having to say goodbye to my beloved Ben, the longest dog with the biggest feet. I still cry whenever I think of him, but I know he's with all our other beloved furkids, just waiting for us at The Rainbow Bridge.

I'm hoping for a good year this year. I know every year is a mix of good and bad, happy and sad, and overall it's just what you make it. Precisely at 12 midnight tonight the electricity went off. Right in the midst of drinking sparkling grape juice and a firestorm of fireworks outside everything went black!

The More Things Change...

So far, 2015 hasn't been much better than 2014, healthwise. As a matter of fact, it's worse. I totally weaned off the prednisone. Yay, me, right? Wrong. I've been thinking that my pain was worse because we had some really exceptionally cold weather blast through right after the first of the year. Well, now it's been warmer than normal, like near 60 for a few days, and more warm weather expected next week, but my body is throwing a tizzy.  Today, I'm actually having a flare of the PR (palindromic rheumatism) in the top of my right hand. Haven't had one of those in awhile. Ouch. Plus, my pain level has been creeping up a little more every day. Tonight, I'm at about an 8. Dr S did give my old pain meds back, but not the same dose as the Fremont Dr S did. It does nothing. He gave me 30, and I don't go back until May. He only wants me to take 1 or 2 a week. I took 2 yesterday. Crap. Wednesday I got my check, so I went to Walmart for some groceries and a couple other things we needed. Mistake. Big Mistake. Thursday, yesterday, I could barely get out of bed. Today, I thought I was a little better until we went to Hobby Lobby and then again to Walmart, and then I made some brownies and started to make chicken enchiladas when I hit the bottom. Spoons were GONE. The Elders came over for dinner, I managed to make it until they left and I came to bed. I think my only solution may be prednisone again. Well really, I should be happy to look like the Michelin Man, right?

My laptop died today. That really sucks, I mean, really. This tablet is great for looking stuff up and maybe playing a game or two, taking pictures, etc., but to type and enter things for genealogy, not so much. Not at all, actually. I'm afraid it may be most sincerely dead. Last night I put it to sleep (good thing it's not a dog), and today the screen won't come on, and it doesn't connect to the internet.

That's about all the good cheer I can muster tonight. Later taters.

Happy Boxing Day (A nod to my Canadian relatives)

Gas is down below $1.99 a gallon! In Nebraska! Woohoo! I had just under half a tank, went to QT and filled it for $21 and some change. Ecstatic would describe my mood after that. It can keep going down too, that would be wonderful. I wonder if we'll see groceries drop a bit. Usually when gas goes up, so does the cost of food and you hear on the news it's because of "transportation costs". I get that, but I find it odd that the price doesn't go down when oil prices go down. I'm just going to make an effort to watch food prices. Heaven knows they've gone through the roof lately.

Sony had their website hacked last week. The CIA or FBI or some other government agency that doesn't know their honey from a hole in the ground said it was North Korea, since the movie "The Interview" was supposed to premiere Christmas Day. It's kind of a spy spoof about these two men who go to NoKo to interview their leader Kim Jung Un, or whatever his name is, but someone contacts them to assassinate him instead. It only saw a commercial a few times, so that description may not be totally accurate, but we've been led to believe the premise of the movie did not go over well in NoKo, so they hacked Sony picture's accounts. In retaliation, we shut down their country's Internet - such as it is. It's   so strictly monitored by the government that calling it the Internet is a joke. Today, NoKo says it wasn't them hacking Sony, so we better leave their Internet alone and then some NoKo spokesperson called Obama a "monkey" and now the heat is on. How DARE they call Mr Obama a monkey! That's just racist. No, that is knee-deep ping funny, because anybody with that face and those ears sure does resemble a simean. Too flipping funny. Now let's see what our side says. We're still technically  still at war with them. The only signed an aemistice, not a peace treary. Oh brother...

Then I started doing some research about frontotemperolobe dementia versus Alzheimer-type. That was a little more trouble in than I expected. They actually tell people to get in touch with genetic counselors. It can start younger than Alzheimer's dementia, and act like Parkinson for a bit. If a parent had it, there's a 50/50 chance of their children getting. This is all I need. Steve would really have to take care of me. Don't think he'd like that much.

There you go. Good news, bad news with a smile, and I'm still wondering about the temporal lobe stuff. Too much more to read.

Snowing tonight as we come to bed..... a little lit late jolly old Fatman. Let's see if we can get it done right next year.,

Christmas 2014

I haven't posted much about my fibro lately - rest assured, it's still with me! I have been doing better with the gabapentin, better than I had expected; but then the cold weather came. This past week has been hard. No, bad. Really bad. The past 2 days were cold and rainy, my version of kryptonite! Last Friday Hailey spent the night with us, and we so enjoyed having her. We took her to the ward activity, which was a breakfast with Santa, and she had great fun. When we got home Steve rolled out some store-bought cookie dough and they made some sugar cookies, she wanted to use the cookie cutters SO bad! She and Papa had fun doing that. Magann and Matt came over soon after and they took her home a little after noon. I then lay down on the sofa and slept for 2-1/2 hours. Think she wore me out much? 😊 it was very much worth it! I just had no more energy though. Weird thing about that, the pain is better, but the fatigue is terrible. Maybe worse than before. Poo poo, as Madeline would say.

I got a letter from Westroads Medical last month too - Dr. Snow is moving to a UNMC clinic on 175th  and Dodge. Two things. First, I don't like UNMC in any way, shape, or form. I've been taken by rescue squad to the hospital twice, and both times the care I received was terrible. For being "the" trauma hospital in Omaha, they suck. Number two,  his Westroads location was very convenient, the new one not so much. I don't want to change doctors again, so I'll deal with it. But I don't have to like it. I go see him on January 14, we'll see what can be done, if anything, about the fatigue. I've also noticed horrendous tinnitus. It's more annoying than anything, but it's really bad at night when we've been watching TV in bed and it shuts off and Steve is sleeping. Even if I have the radio on, set to go off in 15-20 minutes Steve says he can't sleep, so I need to shut it off. Hmmm, he was sure sleeping good enough with the TV blaring. I wonder if my meds are making that worse?

So, that's where I am fibro-wise.

It's about 3 a.m., so, if I say "yesterday" I mean Christmas Eve... We ended up going over to Sue and Smitty's for dinner. They had a nice spiral-bound ham with an apple cider glaze (that came with the ham). It was tasty! Everyone opened their gifts and we came home shortly after. It was nice. See? I can be nice! It's sure different not having Meg and Jason around! They'll be getting home on the 30th. They've posted a lot of pictures on Facebook. There's no snow on the ground in Lithuania, Estonia, or Latvia (as far as I can tell from the photos), but it does look cold, duh... They look like they're having a good time and keeping busy. I'll be glad when they get home!

We opened our gifts to each other. I got Steve his tomahawk, a fan for the wood stove, new stove gloves, a dachshund brewery sign, and a small fleece throw with dogs on it. Not one I made, just a small one from Target. He got me a 2 terabyte exterior hard drive. Woo hoo. Now, maybe I can do my Ancestry stuff on the big screen computer! Two terabytes! That's huge!

The only thing putting a damper on the day is that Bob has a terrible cold. I worry about him every time he gets sick. He is 86, and my dad is  gone. I'm not ready to lose Bob. Plus, as a rule, elderly people get sick and take longer to recover. Then, mom's memory is about as sharp as a bowling ball. When she first got to Sue's, mom commented on how nice the sweater was. I asked sue if it itched  she said it didnt, it was very soft, but it looked hair. I told her she looked like Sasquatsch. Haha ha? We all laughed about it at dinner wanted to know where she got it. Asked her if it was itchy! The whole 9 yards. Just like she hadn't asked because a 

Do You Ever Feel Like a Doormat?

I asked Steve tonight if he would just let bygones be bygones with my youngest sister. He told me he needs time to think about it. One thing that I've really come to understand and accept, especially in the past year since dad has been gone, is that life ends all too soon, and all too abruptly. There isn't always time for second chances. I'm also realizing (or admitting, take your pick) that my marriage is a constant game of one upmanship that Steve has to win. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of playing. Things always go his way, or they don't go at all.

Example. About 6 years ago I said it would be nice if we started celebrating holidays (Christmas and Thanksgiving) as a family and his mom and Bob could take turns going to Sue's and our place. Up to this point, Sue and Smitty had one holiday at their house and we had the next at our place. Well, that went nowhere. Mom and Bob went to Sue's for Thanksgiving and Christmas, only coming to our house for bagels on Christmas morning. Of course this was my fault. Never mind that ever since we got  married we ALWAYS went to his mom's, and when his dad was alive we had to go there, too. It didn't help that my parents got divorced around the same time, so dad was with Pam ' s family and we weren't invited, and mom never seemed interested in family traditions. Several years dad has gone with us to Sue's or come here when we've had everyone over here. I've reiterated several times, especially since the kids grew up and had boyfriends, girlfriends, significant others, and children of their own, that I want to celebrate with our own family. It's especially difficult with Marisa sharing custody of Hailey. Still, we have to go to Sue's. Now, it's all the time since she's on oxygen. I don't WANT to go to their house every darn time. Sue's house is smaller, and I just want to stay home when it's cold. I always feel worse when I go out in the cold. How many times do I have to say it before it sinks in? Not to mention loading and unloading the car with food, gifts, etc., not to mention the menu never varies at their house and I think turkey soaked in wine tastes nasty, and so does stuffing inside the aforementioned bird. I try to bring different recipes for variety when we go, but it's always the exact same things cooked the exact same ways. Tradition is fine if it tastes good...

This really is going somewhere, I swear... So when Steve got mad at my sisters about 18 months ago, he told me they weren't allowed in "our" house. To be honest, at the time, I couldn't have cared less. I was dealing with all the repercussions of what had happened, and it was fine with me. Mel and I buried the hatchet before dad passed away, and technically, I'm no longer angry with Missy, but I just can't deal with her. Mel and I have always been close, we still are, so this ban on her coming to my house is getting ridiculous. She's my SISTER. Get over it already. Family is all you take with you into the eternities. I'm just tired of this. I told Steve I didn't want to go to Sue's for Thanksgiving. There is also another issue going on that I don't want to put on a blog, it's a family thing, and I don't enjoy the gossip and stories told about another person close to the family. I love this person and think others should be a lot kinder. I really dislike dealing with the whole mess, which is another reason I don't like to go. Well, I ended up going, even though I would have rather stayed home and had  frozen TV dinner.

Now comes Christmas and we've been invited for Christmas Eve. Since Meg and Jason are in Europe, and Matt, Margaret, and Hailey are coming over Christmas morning, we're "free" Christmas Eve. Great. So, once again I'll end up going just to keep the peace, while he thinks about letting my sister come over.

I always give in. I asked him to please at least tell me in advance when he and Tom plan on going to a gun show or go shooting. Ha ha ha. Never happens. It's like I don't exist. We had to buy a new carpet shampooer a few weeks ago. First, we went to one store, then he had to go see if it was cheaper at Walmart,  which involved going to an unfamiliar store, so we walked, walked, and walked some more, only to find out Walmart didn't have what he wanted, so back to the other store. He never even asked my opinion, what to you think about x versus y? Walked all over both stores in the meantime. I felt like crap by the time we were done. Why did I even have to go? If you're not going to let me help choose what WE are purchasing, go alone!

I just want to be recognized as a person, a partner, someone with half a brain...

Christmas has begun

Yesterday really started the Christmas season, with the smorgasbord at Bethel Lutheran Church. This is the 4th or 5th year we've gone, and this year Sue and Smithy went with us (mom and Bob, of course, take us). It was delicious, as always. I need to find the recipe for the candied nuts. They are so good! This was the first year we've gone to the second meal at 2:30, we usually go at 12:30. They sell the extra meatballs and korve  (Swedish potato sausage). We brought some meatballs, which will be tasty with either boiled potatoes or buttered noodles. Yum!

Tonight we has Christmas with Meg and Jason, they're leaving for Europe on Friday, so will be gone for Christmas. Boo! We did have a good time with Grandma and Grandpa Sieborg. Steve made his Kahlua last week, so Carol had a big glass of that, she was very happy when they left.

Tomorrow Steve HAS to put the bed together for Hailey. I moved some of the parts into the hallway in August, I think it was, so maybe he'd get tired of seeing them when he went back and forth to the office, but that didn't faze him. I asked him in November so Kerry could sleep on it when she came over while he was gone hunting, didn't get done. I started asking him 2 weeks ago to do it, when Matt said she could spend the night, and it's STILL not done. I have no idea what the problem is with him. Hailey can't even play with her toys because the dresser is in the way in there. It's just a mess! I need to get the phone number of the guy who fixed Gale's computer to see if he can fix ours. I want to do indexing for Family Search and put Family Tree Maker on it without it crashing.  I also think I want to get rid of my scrapbook stuff. I just don't do it like I used to. Right now, neither printer works, so I can't even print pictures! That room looks awful. I'm too busy with genealogy to do all the scrapbooking I have junk for. Maybe I should sell the stuff on eBay or something. It's too much to think about right now. I'm like Winnie the Pooh, my is stuffed with fluff and I can't think.

Sarah had her wisdom teeth out today, poor thing. What a way to spend winter break! Lucky girl though, when break is over, she'll be heading to Disney World in Florida for 3 months! I'm a little jealous of that, but having wisdom teeth pulled, not so much...

What The Hell?

When I was single and lived with female roommates I rarely wondered what was going on in their heads. We understood each other. At least until at one point another girl moved in with my roommate and me. I wonder if she is as irritating to her spouse as she was to me. But this isn't about her, it's about my husband. I love my husband, but he often leaves me wondering "What the hell?"

Tonight I had to get into our joint closet to get another blanket on our bed. Our closet has sliding mirrored doors, but the track is bent, so you can only open it from one side (his). No, this isn't my WTH moment tonight, this happened months ago. Now, I just go with the flow...  Well, tonight in order to get to the closet I had to move the laundry basket for the dirty clothes. So, I leaned over to move it and I found a pile of his dirty clothes RIGHT NEXT TO THE BASKET OF DIRTY CLOTHES. WTH??? Was the basket of dirty clothes confusing to you? Maybe you thought all the wadded up, stinky clothes were clean. Next time, try to hit the hamper. I love you, but I'm not your mothher.

Another famous WTH moment involves toilet paper. If you use the last of a roll, you need to get a new roll. He's been working on it. The biggest mystery is why change the toilet paper roll and then drop the empty roll on the floor for someone, oh, I don't know, maybe  the maid will pick it up for you. Except we don't have a damn maid! His other favorite trick is to leave the empty roll on, but start a new roll and leave it on floor ( See my earlier note about the non-existant maid.) Really, you spend hours in there, and you can't put up a new roll? Maybe not, the TP  roll holder has been sorta broken since we moved in. Ten years now, but whose  counting?

Ambien is kicking in... Later taters

Good Bye, Dr. E!

Last night, I was talking to my friend, Kerry, when she asked me if I heard that Dr. E was leaving AAH, our vet clinic. I was totally gobsmacked. He had been at AAH for just over a year, but was quitting to support his wife in her job. I was so sad, I cried. I love AAH, and Dr. E wasn't the only vet, but he was one of my favorite! Dr Jay and Dr Dave are super vets, and I love them both, also, but after Ben got sick Dr Dave called Dr Jeff into consult because he was recently out of school and had more recent experience in cardiology and internal medicine. Of course, since Ben was my special buddy, Dr Jeff and I developed a great relationship, too. When Ben got to the end of the road, I had called Dr Jeff to ask him if we should increase the dose of something, or if there was something else we could try. He told me we could increase some of his meds, but others were maxed out. Then he told me medical science is a wonderful thing, but sometimes it makes people and animals live longer than they should.  He also told me Ben probably was feeling like he was drowning and finding it hard to breathe. It's hard to realize that an animal is suffering and you can't help anymore. All this happened on Thursday, Friday morning Ben ate his breakfast like always, with great gusto, but when Steve put Ben in the bed with me, Ben wouldn't lie down and acted like he was having a hard time breathing and I knew it was time. I'm so glad Dr Jeff was there to let me know it was really time. I know Dr Jay wouldn't tell me if it was time, he'll never suggest someone put an animal down.

Anyway, that's why I just have a bond with him. I found out today that his wife works at Conagra! As an accoutant! How's that for crazy? I hope she succeeds there and they don't regret their decision! I'd always use Dr Jeff again!

Heidi

We took Heidi to the vet yesterday, mainly because I was worried about CHF, which is what had with Ben  Dr Jeff took two radiographies.  For once, her heart  and lungs were in perfectly fine - but she appears to have a tumor near her spleen or small intestine. I had a good cry about it, and now we just 

Oct 5

Well, I was a little too emotional to finish that post. We did have an ultrasound on Heidi, and she does have a tumor. We can't tell if it's benign of malignant without exploratory surgery, but at her age, the surgery could kill her. So we just wait. And love her. I wouldn't say she's the MOST spoiled dog in Nebraska, but it would be close! I don't dress her up in dresses or Halloween costumes, I think she's way too dignified for that nonsense - she's a very no-nonsense type of girl, but she is loved. I think she knows that. If she doesn't know it now, she should! I'd like to come back to earth as a dog in my own house. Warm, fed, petted incessantly, what a life!

Now, for the fibro nonsense. Neurontin has worked wonders. Truly. I love it as much as I disdain Tramadol. Tramadol is worthless for me, which Dr. S ignores when I tell him. But, if I have hydrocoone to get me over the rough patches, I'll be fine. The pain from the fibro is virtually gone with the Neurontin if I'm doing my day to day regular stuff. If I do too much or go grocery shopping, etc., the pain comes back with a vengeance. I choose to do a few things around the house during the day, but still, I don't want to do a lot because - well, why would I want to bring my pain back on again? Bedtime is the worst time and that's when I usually give in and take a pain pill. But, I have noticed since the weather is changing (BOO - and that's not for Halloween, either) that when the cold fronts and rain start, I have a lot more body pain. Great, right. Welcome fall! 

I'm still having those stupid "cold" attacks,where I get so cold I can't get warm. Pretty soon Steve will be lighting fires in the woodstove and that will be soooo nice. I'm not going to worry about these stupid things. 

One thing the Neurontin doesn't help is the back pain. Last visit, Dr. S checked my very old MRI that was done at Methodist almost 6 years ago and it showed stenosis, which doesn't surprise me, even though Dr. W told me it was "fine" at the time. Maybe she should have some stenosis for awhile and tell me how "fine" it is. Anyway, he offered me an injection, NO THANK YOU!!, or referral to a spine surgeon, which refused for now. Heck, who cares about a little back pain if those are the options? Right? So, we decided to watch and see what happens. He did double my Neurontin, so maybe that will take care of the cold flashes - we'll see. 

Since I wrote last, there has been the Women's Broadcast from Salt Lake - totally awesome, as usual. I went to Kerry's stake with her sister missionaries, Love them all. We had a good time. Great talks, and good cake! :-) General Conference was last week and I watched most of all 4 sessions. I did fall asleep for just a little bit of the 4th session, it had been a long day! On Sunday, Kerry had a brunch and her sister missionaries came over to watch conference with us. That was SO much fun! I love when we have a chance to just "hang out" with the sisters.Hers, mine, it doesn't matter, they're all awesome. I miss Sister Nelson a lot in our ward. She was transferred to Sioux City. I can't remember the new sister's name. It always takes awhile to get used to a new sister or a new Elder. 

There's a new movie out and we went with the Rockbrook Sisters to see it the other night. Brad, Kerry's husband went too, and it was great! Very inspiring, I thought. It made me cry. That's all I'm saying about that, but it's great. Go see it.  It's called Meet the Mormons. I think you'll find out things you never knew. We also took an investigator from Kerry's ward. Very nice lady about our age. I think she learned some new things. Oh, and all the money from proceeds of the movie are going to the Red Cross.

Today, I started going to the family history class that began at church. Sister Joyce T is teaching it. She's great, I just love her to pieces. She told us how she met Brother Thompson,  He was actually the missionary who baptized her! Wish I had been so lucky. Well, not the missionary that baptized me exactly, but I sure saw my fair share of cute missionaries come and go while I waited not so patiently to be baptized. Oh wait, I was dating someone before I moved in with the Smith's. I forgot. sorry...

Magann and Matt were both working yesterday (Saturday) so Little Miss came over so we could watch her.She never ceases to make me laugh. Yesterday she was on a kick with Magann's old cell phone that apparently started when they were all out shopping. She was playing with the old phone, talking to her "boss". She was apologizing for being late and then telling her boss she was out shopping, etc. When she got to our house she had forgotten the phone, so she used her pinkie and her thumb for the "phone". It was hilarious. We had to go to the grocery store, so she told her boss she had to go, but would be back in about half an hour. Later, I asked her how she managed to squeeze work in where ever she was and she told me, "Nana, I already told you. I work everywhere. I work when I'm shopping, I work when I'm here, I work at the grocery store, I work EVERYWHERE!"  oh. I want a job like that! 

Of course we had to make something out of the melting beads. She made a rainbow because she was going to have a "rainbow show". For a few minutes she talked while doing the rainbow, as if she were instructing a class - hmmm, do we have a future teacher on our hands? While we were driving to the "drocery store" she told me how we needed to go to "Tardet" (Target), because in the toy aisle they had lots of new Turtle stuff. (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, for those of you who aren't with the program...) With all the talk of Turtles, I was wondering if her love of dinosaurs was waning just a little bit, so I asked her which she liked best, Turtles or dinosaurs. She thought for about half a second and said, "I like them equally".  What? Equally? Have I ever used that word in a sentence? I always say, "I like them both the same" or whatever, but I've never used the word equally in my life. I must improve my vocabulary so I'll be able to converse with her when she starts kindergarten. Sheesh. 

Fast Sunday at church today. This was the first Sunday in a long time that Brother W hasn't gotten up to bear his testimony. I didn't think about that until just now. I love that couple like they're my own grandparents. It will break my heart when something happens to either on of them. Bro. W will be 91 in a month or so. Sis. W told me today that he gave her a scare on Monday. She said she got up at 6 and he was still in bed. She thought that was odd because he always gets up at 5:30 (Seriously. I usually only see 5:30 a.m. when I can't sleep...) Anyway, he was still in bed. Suddenly he just sat straight up in the bed and took a big gasping breath. She said she thought he was taking his last breath, it scared her so much. Now, I'm all worried about them.There are days (mostly in the past), when I just wanted to stay in bed, but I know they won't go to church with anyone else, at least they don't like to, so I just get up and go. There have been times I've sat in the foyer because I just ached so bad by the end of the first 2 hours, but I went. It's good for both of us, I think. 

Okay. I think that's it for now. I seriously need a new laptop that had a spacebar that works and an "s" that I don't have to hit repeatedly to get it to work...

Don't forget, always be the person your dog thinks you are.

No Labor Day

We went grading today. I love cemeteries, as a rule. I needed some photos from Columbus, St. Edward, and one from Genoa. At one point, we were only 8 miles from Genoa, we should have gone there too. We went to St. Edward first, and I'm so glad we did!

When we got there, Steve took 3 names, and I took 3 names, and we started walking the rows. The maintenance man was there working, so when he saw us, he came to our rescue. He knew where everyone was buried. If he couldn't take you to the exact grave he wasn't more than a couple graves off. He was most awesome - but, we didn't get his name!

The cemetery was beautiful! He had mowed half of the cemetery, and was going around each grave with a weed whacked when we left. Like I said, he was great!  We got to talking about directories (or lack thereof) in small (ish) cemeteries. He says he has an alphabetized list of everyone buried there, but you don't know how to find the grave, even with a name because there's no map. If St. Edward wasn't so far away, I'd love to help him put a directory together. I'm sure we could figure out how to do it.

After we were done there, we were going to go back to Columbus, but since Newman Grove was so close, we stopped by to see grandpa Anderson's  place. It could really, really use a paint job, it was looking pretty rough. They unit a gigantic (for such a small town) church in the big empty lot across the street from the house. Less than 800 people live in that town, ND I bet the place easily holds 1,000 people. I think it would be so awesome to live in a small town like that. Heaven knows where the closest church is, though.

We stopped by the Hope Cemetery in Newman Grove to look for Arvin and Mable Newman (Grandpa Anderson's sister and her husband). No luck, again, no directory or map.

By time we got down to Columbus, it was nearly 5, and we needed to get home to feed the dogs. They get quite testy if dinner isn't on the table at 5!!!! Another day for that!!!

I have a thinkin' problem

For some reason, probably because I've been going to church more often and doing all the good stuff that goes with it, I've been doing some soul searching. In the course of all this reflection I've realized there's one thing I really, really, have a big problem with - I can't forgive Pam. It makes me literally sick to my stomach to even think of her. I absolutely despise her. I know we need to forgive in order to be more Christ-like, but on this subject, I just can't. Not only that, I cannot even imagine wanting to forgive her. That's really bad.

I'm not saying my dad was perfect, far from it. I know my dad could be an absolute ass without even trying. I still get angry with him when I think of how he basically walked away from his responsibility with his own mother when she was in the nursing home, how he never could stand up for his daughters when we needed him the most, and for being so irresponsible about money and business. He could be rather selfish, too, but still, he loved us and he was my flesh and blood. That goes a long way toward being able to forgive. But that stupid cow he married - I couldn't stand her from day one. She was a first-class weirdo from the word go, and she only got worse. Dad was nothing to her but a meal ticket and a way to get more money. Since dad was a retired police officer, unfortunately, the police officer's credit union was only too glad to give him loans, and loans, and more loans. Scary as it is to think about, he actually had better credit than she did! Without dad's VA loan, she never would have gotten her brand new house in Phoenix. Complete with pool and hot tub. They had the house built for them for Pete's sake, I don't think the ink was dry on the closing papers before she started having dad change everything, from Corian counters to tile floors, removing the enclosed staircase and up ending it up, then new cars (leased at first, then financed through the good old credit union.

I really don't care about all that, it's not like any of us thought we'd be getting an inheritance!  But she slowly started to cut do off from us. Her siblings spent most summers keeping the spare bedrooms in use. The grandkids went down for a week in the summer, if they were lucky. I had to laugh when Meg pulled into the garage, hit a refrigerator, and pushed it through the wall of the bathroom on the main floor! WTG, Meg! Steve and I only went once, and I went one other time by myself. I couldn't stand being in her house. We weren't even invited to the wedding for God's sake! Which just happened to coincide with the kid's week to visit, so they had to come home early. If dad and Pam came back here, they stayed with HER aunt, and we'd be lucky to see dad once or twice while they were here. Christmas visits were for spending time with her family. They couldn't have Christmas dinner with us! Oh no, Josie wanted Pammy and Art with them!  Let's just forget that Art has 3 married daughters and 7 grandchildren to see. When they moved back here, she didn't want to work. Nevermind that dad was 75 and having a lot of problems with peripheral nerve damage in his legs from diabetes that she helped make worse. Supposedly, she was a dietician, but couldn't figure out dad couldn't eat a giant bowl of popcorn every night before bed AND keep his blood sugar under control.

I guess the frosting on the cake was when dad wasn't to be left alone after his accident with the semi, yet she went to work anyway and left him home alone - nothing in the house to eat or drink. She worked at Wal-Mart for Pete's sake was it beyond her to buy groceries? Apparently it was, because she never did. And let's not forget the time dad fell in front of her colleagues at a Wal-Mart Christmas party. He couldn't get up without help, but instead of helping, she just laughed at him. I wish I would have been there, she would've been cropping teeth for a week. When dad's health deteriorated, she ran off like a scalded dog. Her story was that WE pushed her out. In reality, we offered to help her, since dad had been diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia and she left, saying she couldn't handle it. Of course she kept calling him and telling him she wanted to come home, but we wouldn't let her. Riiiight. There goes increasingly demented Pammy! Make way for the princess!  After Mel, me, Bob and Carol and Steve worked our assessment off to get their stuff sold, so dad could have extra money in his account at the nursing home, she called him and managed to get money out of him. FOR THE LAST TIME! Last I heard she was having to work two jobs to pay off the bills. Dad attempted suicide 3 times because of that whore. The first time, after he took the overdose he called her and told her. She didn't care enough to let anyone know what he had done. Instead, he ended up in a coma for 4 days that we thought was going to kill him. She never came to see him or even sent a card. Then she had the gall to complain that she has to work 2 jobs now to pay off some of the bills! Ñot counting the house, they have over 100k in credit card debt. Poor baby. I hope she has to work 2 or 3 jobs to pay the debts off. Miserable excuse for a human being.i hope she rots in hell.

Happy Birthday Kerry!!

Today I decided to pay bills and run some errands. Hey, I know some people do that every day, but not me. So, it was a big day! I found a whole shoebox full of things that belonged to Mel a couple weeks ago, and I've been meaning to take it to her ever since. Today was the day. I needed to get a birthday card for Kerry, then grab some lunch and head to her house. I thought I'd grab some grub for her birthday, since I'm always late getting gifts. I also had to return a book she laned me about Hall County. She and Brad are going to a shoot this weekend in Logan, and a woman who sells the old fashioned clothes will be there and I want Kerry to get me a couple skirts. They are so beautiful. I've seen Kerry's and fell in love. I love to wear long skirts to church! We all wore long skirts back then, me, Dodie, Sudie, and Dorothy all wore pretty dresses to church, along with everyone  else. Well, the ladies, at least! I grabbed lunch from Schlotsky 's. When I got to Kerry's, I realized I'd forgotten the book I should have returned. NUTZ! When I got to the back door Kerry was getting off the phone with a friend who had called to wish her a happy birthday. Uh oh... I forgot the birthday card! NUTZ!

The Schlotsky were fantabulous! I love the small original with no onion. Yummy, yummy, yummy... I needed to go to Target and Office Max for some other things, Kerry suggested the ones on L Street. Good idea old bean. We went to office depot, which to Kerry and I is like a guy going to a home-grown place. We looked all over and we found what we wanted . I needed photo paper 8 x10 and 4x6. Kerry had some 8x10, that saved some money! I wanted to get a bunch of notebooks. I ended up getting 4, they were 99 cents each/ buy 3, get 1 free. Not bad, they were 16 cents at Shop last week. When I had no money. It worked out okay. Plus Target had Spam which both Wal-Mart superstore and the neighborhood market were totally empty. At Target I got 6 cans and a giant can of Nutella. I heart there's a shortage of hazelnuts, their predicted crop went down to 40,000,000 tons  versus 900,000,000 they usually produce. I thought I better grab a couple but one was enough.

Then I took Kerry with me to Mel's. The last time I remember her shoebox of things it was still on the table at my house. Right where I left it. I'll have to try it again , next week. NUTZ !

By the time I got home, I also forgot to take a note for Dr Snow to fill out, and to mail my tithing. Normal day for me!

We reheated burritos we've been eating since Monday. Thank goodness they're gone, I loved them but three dinners in a row? 😵

This evening Rachel was doing some splits with the sister missionaries, their appointment wasn't home, so they came over to my house instead, so Rachel did the lesson! Now they don't need to all come over tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have to mail my tithing, take the form for Dr Snow, and grab some salad stuff and tater tots for dinner with the missionaries at our house tomorrow. Grab several birthday cards and mail one to Kerry!!!   I think it'll go better this time around? Good night

I'm Not Lost

I have to admit, I've had some days, okay, weeks that have been pretty sucky in the past month or so, but seriously, I am feeling better. Like, really better. No, no, no... I don't think what I've experienced is a "cure",  but I wish I had gone to the new rheumatologist long ago. Like last year when my friend, KH,  told me to give him a shot. Not literally, of course.

The road hasn't been without potholes, some you could lose a VW in, but I'm getting there. As a matter of fact, today, August 1, 2014, I did not take ANY pain medication until 10 PM.  That's right, at night! That's 2200 hours for you military minds. I didn't just lay in bed all day, either! No, sir! Steve was gone until about 12:30, so I did take my sweet time getting up today. It was about noon, but I stayed up late reading, so I slept until 10, got up, let the dogs out, and then went back to bed to read until he got home. You have to admit, bed is the most choice place to read. It's my favorite place...

After Steve got home I got dressed and we went to the company store. We got some awesome deals... The Banquet cheddar broccoli potato bake, which I love, had damaged cases for $2.00.  Oh yeah... 24 for $4! The lowest price I've seen at the store has been 89 cents each at Target a few weeks ago; usually $1.00 each at the Wal-Mart Marketplace. We also got six 3 - packs of Healthy Choice frozen yogurt, strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. I love that stuff!

After we got home we unloaded everything and put everything in the freezer, then we went to Tractor Supply for dog food, then to Wally World looking for a part for the vacuum sealer, then home. We hung around the house until a little after 6, and then went to a fireside at the Mormon Trail Center where they were showing the movie, 17 Miracles. It was an amazing, testimony strengthening movie about the Willie - Martin handcart company, which traveled to Utah in 1856.  It was a very inspiring movie, but also very sad. The next time I feel like my life is impossible, I want to remember the hardships these people went through and what an amazing amount of faith they had that  God would not desert them.

Yes, people died, but not because God didn't love them or didn't hear their prayers; but because they had so much faith their burdens were lifted so they could return to Him. The miracles that kept the rest of the company alive were just that - miracles. If I had been watching the movie at home, instead of with about 200 other people, I would have cried a lot more than I did. Awesome, awesome movie! This is one movie I want to see again. I must own it!

Now we will see how I feel tomorrow. I did take one of my old pain meds when I took my bedtime meds. I wasn't pain free and I was too uncomfortable to fall asleep, but I feel GOOD!

We got to see Sister Tune (Tun-ay) tonight, which was wonderful! Sister Winterton and Sister Jensen (Jenson?) are going home next Thursday. I'll miss them even though they haven't been in our ward for a long time, they were sweet girls who I enjoyed having in our home.
And now?

Goodnight!

Kaboom!

Celebrating the 4th of July in our own way. Three years ago tonight we took Hailey to her first fireworks show. She was 10 months old and slept through the whole thing! We sat on Maple Street at about 140th and watched the fireworks from The Champions Club golf course. Tonight, we stayed home. No fireworks for us, but plenty in the neighborhood. I guess that's just a sign of our old age. We should have gone, the weather today was gorgeous, breezy and cool... Nice.

We started the day with a waffle and pancake breakfast with strawberries and blueberries at church. It was a nice breakfast, but a bit too early for my taste - 8 a.m.! Yikes! Meg has borrowed my car for the past couple days, so she brought it back and spent the day with us. Steve smoked a brisket YUMMY! Tom came up and helped Steve take out another one our dead pines. I loved those trees when we moved in, they shaded nearly the whole back yard and kept the house nice and cool. They were so pretty and lush, you could always smell pine outside on the back porch. Now there's another one gone, one more dead, and another one mostly dead. That will be the end of the beautiful pines...

Anyway, Tom stayed for dinner, Meg was here, and mom and Bob came over. Mom had baked a red cake to make up for the one she didn't make for his birthday since she was recuperating from surgery, but she used canned frosting - which had gone bad or something... she apologized for not having one about 100 times. Brought plates, which were for the cake that she couldn't bring because of the frosting... okay by me, but I know she was disappointed. Then she spent 10 minutes talking about how good the brisket was and how she'd never had brisket before... which, of course, she has had - at our house. I know, I forget a lot, too. Sometimes I have more patience than at other times. It was a great day, and a wonderful dinner.

Just a small personal message here.  I love my country, love the freedoms we enjoy here...  I never, ever thought in my lifetime this country would be in the mess we're in now. We have no leader, at least no one with the leadership skills that are needed for this place in time. The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, and our so-called president is playing golf or on another multi-million dollar vacation with his worthless family. It disgusts me. HE disgusts me. I'm afraid for my children and grandchildren, afraid and sad. I hope we truly get rid of this piece of work in 2016, that he hasn't managed to totally decimate the Constitution and eliminate the two-year limit. I pray every night that we can rid this country of the infestation of evil from within. I truly hope the morons that voted for Obama simply because he was black (well, half black), don't vote for Hillary Clinton simply because she's a woman. I'm not even sure she's half a woman.... End of rant.

Potpourri

I've been working really hard to try and give this Tramadol a fair shake. I've been using only Tramadol, twice per day, just like he took me. When I called for the appointment today and I just got fed up. I have the pain, take the meds, nothing works. I don't notice any change in my pain level when I do take it.Lets hope we get to try something that can help. If he wants. Maybe percocet or Anvenza. Anything will help. Except shots, but when the pain is bad I'll try anything.

Sleepless in Omaha

It was another sleepless night last night. I hate not being able to sleep. It's not like back in my reckless youth when I'd work all day, go out with friends, and then decide to drive to Minneapolis, get there early in the morning, run around all day and finally crash into oblivion for 4-5 hours and be ready to go.  It's awful. I take all my meds, get into bed, we watch a couple episodes of Parks and Recreation, Steve cons out, TV shuts off... I close my eyes and try to empty my head..... Nothing. I check my watch, a little after midnight. Close my eyes... Bitsy, our mini dachshund, inches her way up from my feet, slowly, slowly, until she's ready to jump up on Steve's pillow. I catch her, put her back on her blanket and lie down, close my eyes... immediately a line from some song starts repeating itself over and over and over in my head... Who sings that? I get up, Google the lyrics to find out the band. Great. Now I can sleep. Check the time, 1:22 a.m. crap. Close my eyes... Start thinking about how awesome it was that my dad saw angels in his hospital room before he died. Uh oh... I miss my dad!  My eyes start leaking and tears are running in my ears. If only Ben were here... Now the tears are really coming and my nose is starting to run. I'll never have another dog that I'll love the way I loved him. S tasting to sob, so I get out of bed, so as not to disturb Steve and sneak into the bathroom, trying not to wake Heidi and Buttercup, because they'll think it's morning...  I finally quit crying, blow my nose, wipe my eyes, and go back to bed. I close my eyes...  The jukebox in my head starts all over, I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin', like a whirlpool, it never ends.  I'm so dizzy... NO! I sit up to check the time. Almost 3 a.m. what was in that Ambiem bottle? Sugar pills?  CRAP!  I heard Buttercup snorting and walking around.... who do you build me up, build me up, Buttercup Baby, just to let me down..... shut off the music in my HEAD!,,,,  I just want SLEEP!!! Now it's almost 4 a.m. only 2 hours until steve will wake me up when he gets up. It got quiet, the voices in my head start talking again. No, I'm not schizophrenic, either... obviously, no sleep  tonigh

Sometimes a little sleep can go a long way. Unfortunately not just tonight. At least I'm yawning tonight!,,
H

Is Laughter Really the Best Medicine?

I got on Netflix tonight and watched a couple episodes of AFI (America's Funniest Videos) and then proceeded to laugh myself into a stomachache. I bet it's been 3 years since I was he'd it last and the shows I watched tonight we're way older than that, but they were FUNNY!

I didn't do anything today. Wait, that's a lie, I put away the dishes Steve washed yesterday.  That's it. I didn't really even get dressed, just put on a longer lounger sort of thing so if I had to take something out to the recycle bin my knickers wouldn't show. BWA HA HA!

I called the doctor today, but didn't hear back. I forgot to call him until after 3 though. I know, I know  you have to wonder how I forgot to call the doctor about my pain meds when I'm in so much pain, but that's part of the problem... when the pain is bad my brain turns to absolute slush. I can't remember anything - and I do incredibly stupid things. I had gone out to the kitchen to answer the phone earlier, it was my friend, India. We chatted a bit and I decided the wooden chairs were too uncomfortable to sit in, so I walked back to the bedroom and had just gotten all settled, with the dogs all around me (all the while talking to India) when I suddenly thought "Oh, I left the phone in the kitchen. I want it back here in case the doctor's office calls..." I was out of bed before I realized I was ON THE PHONE! I need a keeper...

Rolling Hills Ranch called again today to see if Steve and I would be interested in moving in. Boy howdy, would I ever! prepared meals all day, every day, housekeeping once a week, no stairs, laundry on the same level,  nice neighborhood, what's not to like? The only problem is they don't allow more than one small dog, and we have too much junk to get rid of quickly. I'd love to go through the storeroom in the basement, but I'm too afraid of the spiders I'm sure are lurking in there. I've seen two in our bedroom recently. Well, okay, one was in the bathroom, but it's attached to the bedroom. Yesterday Steve brought up clean laundry for me to fold and he put the basket in the tub for me to do later. I didn't do it today, and now I'm pretty sure the Arachnid family has moved into the basket and I'm afraid to fold the clothes. I hate spiders worse than snakes. I mean if I see a snake outside I'm really on its territory, right? But spiders have no sense that they're trespassing when they're in MY bathtub in MY house. Cheeky little freaks. I hate them.

Took a Hydrocodone tonight before going to bed. I want some relatively pain free sleep tonight. At least for an hour or so. Tomorrow I will get out of bed, maybe even get dressed and 《gasp》 try a short walk. That is, IF I feel better. Here's hopin'!

Tramadol - No bueno.

Is the weekend finally over? I must call Dr Snow's office tomorrow and either increase this dose, try something stronger or just freaking shoot myself. Went to run errands and go to the store with Steve yesterday. MIS-take. Then my nephew came over about 8:30 and was here until 2:30 a.m.  I don't mind, we love him to pieces, but I should have gone to bed about 10.

Obviously, didn't make it to church this morning. Actually didn't make it out of bed until about 2 p.m. There was no way I was going to get out of bed with the pain I was in this morning. Seriously. Oh. My. God. It was bad. Took some Tramadol when I got up - nothing. Meg and Jason came over to watch a Formula One race, then Sue called and came over, (which finally caused me to HAVE to get up), then Tom stopped on his way home from a race in South Dakota... it was a busy afternoon, and I really was so not feeling like being gracious. Had major heartburn, which gave me a sore throat - although as I wrote this I Had a sneezing fit and my nose is burning.

Meg and Jason stayed for dinner, which Steve cooked, and it was fabulous! They left, Steve did the dishes, bless his heart, and then mom and Bob came over. I had finally taken another Tramadol, so I couldn't keep my eyes open. Why doesn't it work that way any other time? By the time they left, I was wide awake. Now, more pain. More meds and hopefully, sleep. Please. Sleep...