Tuesday, September 2, 2014

No Labor Day

We went grading today. I love cemeteries, as a rule. I needed some photos from Columbus, St. Edward, and one from Genoa. At one point, we were only 8 miles from Genoa, we should have gone there too. We went to St. Edward first, and I'm so glad we did!

When we got there, Steve took 3 names, and I took 3 names, and we started walking the rows. The maintenance man was there working, so when he saw us, he came to our rescue. He knew where everyone was buried. If he couldn't take you to the exact grave he wasn't more than a couple graves off. He was most awesome - but, we didn't get his name!

The cemetery was beautiful! He had mowed half of the cemetery, and was going around each grave with a weed whacked when we left. Like I said, he was great!  We got to talking about directories (or lack thereof) in small (ish) cemeteries. He says he has an alphabetized list of everyone buried there, but you don't know how to find the grave, even with a name because there's no map. If St. Edward wasn't so far away, I'd love to help him put a directory together. I'm sure we could figure out how to do it.

After we were done there, we were going to go back to Columbus, but since Newman Grove was so close, we stopped by to see grandpa Anderson's  place. It could really, really use a paint job, it was looking pretty rough. They unit a gigantic (for such a small town) church in the big empty lot across the street from the house. Less than 800 people live in that town, ND I bet the place easily holds 1,000 people. I think it would be so awesome to live in a small town like that. Heaven knows where the closest church is, though.

We stopped by the Hope Cemetery in Newman Grove to look for Arvin and Mable Newman (Grandpa Anderson's sister and her husband). No luck, again, no directory or map.

By time we got down to Columbus, it was nearly 5, and we needed to get home to feed the dogs. They get quite testy if dinner isn't on the table at 5!!!! Another day for that!!!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

I have a thinkin' problem

For some reason, probably because I've been going to church more often and doing all the good stuff that goes with it, I've been doing some soul searching. In the course of all this reflection I've realized there's one thing I really, really, have a big problem with - I can't forgive Pam. It makes me literally sick to my stomach to even think of her. I absolutely despise her. I know we need to forgive in order to be more Christ-like, but on this subject, I just can't. Not only that, I cannot even imagine wanting to forgive her. That's really bad.

I'm not saying my dad was perfect, far from it. I know my dad could be an absolute ass without even trying. I still get angry with him when I think of how he basically walked away from his responsibility with his own mother when she was in the nursing home, how he never could stand up for his daughters when we needed him the most, and for being so irresponsible about money and business. He could be rather selfish, too, but still, he loved us and he was my flesh and blood. That goes a long way toward being able to forgive. But that stupid cow he married - I couldn't stand her from day one. She was a first-class weirdo from the word go, and she only got worse. Dad was nothing to her but a meal ticket and a way to get more money. Since dad was a retired police officer, unfortunately, the police officer's credit union was only too glad to give him loans, and loans, and more loans. Scary as it is to think about, he actually had better credit than she did! Without dad's VA loan, she never would have gotten her brand new house in Phoenix. Complete with pool and hot tub. They had the house built for them for Pete's sake, I don't think the ink was dry on the closing papers before she started having dad change everything, from Corian counters to tile floors, removing the enclosed staircase and up ending it up, then new cars (leased at first, then financed through the good old credit union.

I really don't care about all that, it's not like any of us thought we'd be getting an inheritance!  But she slowly started to cut do off from us. Her siblings spent most summers keeping the spare bedrooms in use. The grandkids went down for a week in the summer, if they were lucky. I had to laugh when Meg pulled into the garage, hit a refrigerator, and pushed it through the wall of the bathroom on the main floor! WTG, Meg! Steve and I only went once, and I went one other time by myself. I couldn't stand being in her house. We weren't even invited to the wedding for God's sake! Which just happened to coincide with the kid's week to visit, so they had to come home early. If dad and Pam came back here, they stayed with HER aunt, and we'd be lucky to see dad once or twice while they were here. Christmas visits were for spending time with her family. They couldn't have Christmas dinner with us! Oh no, Josie wanted Pammy and Art with them!  Let's just forget that Art has 3 married daughters and 7 grandchildren to see. When they moved back here, she didn't want to work. Nevermind that dad was 75 and having a lot of problems with peripheral nerve damage in his legs from diabetes that she helped make worse. Supposedly, she was a dietician, but couldn't figure out dad couldn't eat a giant bowl of popcorn every night before bed AND keep his blood sugar under control.

I guess the frosting on the cake was when dad wasn't to be left alone after his accident with the semi, yet she went to work anyway and left him home alone - nothing in the house to eat or drink. She worked at Wal-Mart for Pete's sake was it beyond her to buy groceries? Apparently it was, because she never did. And let's not forget the time dad fell in front of her colleagues at a Wal-Mart Christmas party. He couldn't get up without help, but instead of helping, she just laughed at him. I wish I would have been there, she would've been cropping teeth for a week. When dad's health deteriorated, she ran off like a scalded dog. Her story was that WE pushed her out. In reality, we offered to help her, since dad had been diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia and she left, saying she couldn't handle it. Of course she kept calling him and telling him she wanted to come home, but we wouldn't let her. Riiiight. There goes increasingly demented Pammy! Make way for the princess!  After Mel, me, Bob and Carol and Steve worked our assessment off to get their stuff sold, so dad could have extra money in his account at the nursing home, she called him and managed to get money out of him. FOR THE LAST TIME! Last I heard she was having to work two jobs to pay off the bills. Dad attempted suicide 3 times because of that whore. The first time, after he took the overdose he called her and told her. She didn't care enough to let anyone know what he had done. Instead, he ended up in a coma for 4 days that we thought was going to kill him. She never came to see him or even sent a card. Then she had the gall to complain that she has to work 2 jobs now to pay off some of the bills! Ñot counting the house, they have over 100k in credit card debt. Poor baby. I hope she has to work 2 or 3 jobs to pay the debts off. Miserable excuse for a human being.i hope she rots in hell.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Happy Birthday Kerry!!

Today I decided to pay bills and run some errands. Hey, I know some people do that every day, but not me. So, it was a big day! I found a whole shoebox full of things that belonged to Mel a couple weeks ago, and I've been meaning to take it to her ever since. Today was the day. I needed to get a birthday card for Kerry, then grab some lunch and head to her house. I thought I'd grab some grub for her birthday, since I'm always late getting gifts. I also had to return a book she laned me about Hall County. She and Brad are going to a shoot this weekend in Logan, and a woman who sells the old fashioned clothes will be there and I want Kerry to get me a couple skirts. They are so beautiful. I've seen Kerry's and fell in love. I love to wear long skirts to church! We all wore long skirts back then, me, Dodie, Sudie, and Dorothy all wore pretty dresses to church, along with everyone  else. Well, the ladies, at least! I grabbed lunch from Schlotsky 's. When I got to Kerry's, I realized I'd forgotten the book I should have returned. NUTZ! When I got to the back door Kerry was getting off the phone with a friend who had called to wish her a happy birthday. Uh oh... I forgot the birthday card! NUTZ!

The Schlotsky were fantabulous! I love the small original with no onion. Yummy, yummy, yummy... I needed to go to Target and Office Max for some other things, Kerry suggested the ones on L Street. Good idea old bean. We went to office depot, which to Kerry and I is like a guy going to a home-grown place. We looked all over and we found what we wanted . I needed photo paper 8 x10 and 4x6. Kerry had some 8x10, that saved some money! I wanted to get a bunch of notebooks. I ended up getting 4, they were 99 cents each/ buy 3, get 1 free. Not bad, they were 16 cents at Shop last week. When I had no money. It worked out okay. Plus Target had Spam which both Wal-Mart superstore and the neighborhood market were totally empty. At Target I got 6 cans and a giant can of Nutella. I heart there's a shortage of hazelnuts, their predicted crop went down to 40,000,000 tons  versus 900,000,000 they usually produce. I thought I better grab a couple but one was enough.

Then I took Kerry with me to Mel's. The last time I remember her shoebox of things it was still on the table at my house. Right where I left it. I'll have to try it again , next week. NUTZ !

By the time I got home, I also forgot to take a note for Dr Snow to fill out, and to mail my tithing. Normal day for me!

We reheated burritos we've been eating since Monday. Thank goodness they're gone, I loved them but three dinners in a row? 😵

This evening Rachel was doing some splits with the sister missionaries, their appointment wasn't home, so they came over to my house instead, so Rachel did the lesson! Now they don't need to all come over tomorrow.

In the meantime, I have to mail my tithing, take the form for Dr Snow, and grab some salad stuff and tater tots for dinner with the missionaries at our house tomorrow. Grab several birthday cards and mail one to Kerry!!!   I think it'll go better this time around? Good night

Friday, August 1, 2014

I'm Not Lost

I have to admit, I've had some days, okay, weeks that have been pretty sucky in the past month or so, but seriously, I am feeling better. Like, really better. No, no, no... I don't think what I've experienced is a "cure",  but I wish I had gone to the new rheumatologist long ago. Like last year when my friend, KH,  told me to give him a shot. Not literally, of course.

The road hasn't been without potholes, some you could lose a VW in, but I'm getting there. As a matter of fact, today, August 1, 2014, I did not take ANY pain medication until 10 PM.  That's right, at night! That's 2200 hours for you military minds. I didn't just lay in bed all day, either! No, sir! Steve was gone until about 12:30, so I did take my sweet time getting up today. It was about noon, but I stayed up late reading, so I slept until 10, got up, let the dogs out, and then went back to bed to read until he got home. You have to admit, bed is the most choice place to read. It's my favorite place...

After Steve got home I got dressed and we went to the company store. We got some awesome deals... The Banquet cheddar broccoli potato bake, which I love, had damaged cases for $2.00.  Oh yeah... 24 for $4! The lowest price I've seen at the store has been 89 cents each at Target a few weeks ago; usually $1.00 each at the Wal-Mart Marketplace. We also got six 3 - packs of Healthy Choice frozen yogurt, strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. I love that stuff!

After we got home we unloaded everything and put everything in the freezer, then we went to Tractor Supply for dog food, then to Wally World looking for a part for the vacuum sealer, then home. We hung around the house until a little after 6, and then went to a fireside at the Mormon Trail Center where they were showing the movie, 17 Miracles. It was an amazing, testimony strengthening movie about the Willie - Martin handcart company, which traveled to Utah in 1856.  It was a very inspiring movie, but also very sad. The next time I feel like my life is impossible, I want to remember the hardships these people went through and what an amazing amount of faith they had that  God would not desert them.

Yes, people died, but not because God didn't love them or didn't hear their prayers; but because they had so much faith their burdens were lifted so they could return to Him. The miracles that kept the rest of the company alive were just that - miracles. If I had been watching the movie at home, instead of with about 200 other people, I would have cried a lot more than I did. Awesome, awesome movie! This is one movie I want to see again. I must own it!

Now we will see how I feel tomorrow. I did take one of my old pain meds when I took my bedtime meds. I wasn't pain free and I was too uncomfortable to fall asleep, but I feel GOOD!

We got to see Sister Tune (Tun-ay) tonight, which was wonderful! Sister Winterton and Sister Jensen (Jenson?) are going home next Thursday. I'll miss them even though they haven't been in our ward for a long time, they were sweet girls who I enjoyed having in our home.
And now?


Friday, July 4, 2014


Celebrating the 4th of July in our own way. Three years ago tonight we took Hailey to her first fireworks show. She was 10 months old and slept through the whole thing! We sat on Maple Street at about 140th and watched the fireworks from The Champions Club golf course. Tonight, we stayed home. No fireworks for us, but plenty in the neighborhood. I guess that's just a sign of our old age. We should have gone, the weather today was gorgeous, breezy and cool... Nice.

We started the day with a waffle and pancake breakfast with strawberries and blueberries at church. It was a nice breakfast, but a bit too early for my taste - 8 a.m.! Yikes! Meg has borrowed my car for the past couple days, so she brought it back and spent the day with us. Steve smoked a brisket YUMMY! Tom came up and helped Steve take out another one our dead pines. I loved those trees when we moved in, they shaded nearly the whole back yard and kept the house nice and cool. They were so pretty and lush, you could always smell pine outside on the back porch. Now there's another one gone, one more dead, and another one mostly dead. That will be the end of the beautiful pines...

Anyway, Tom stayed for dinner, Meg was here, and mom and Bob came over. Mom had baked a red cake to make up for the one she didn't make for his birthday since she was recuperating from surgery, but she used canned frosting - which had gone bad or something... she apologized for not having one about 100 times. Brought plates, which were for the cake that she couldn't bring because of the frosting... okay by me, but I know she was disappointed. Then she spent 10 minutes talking about how good the brisket was and how she'd never had brisket before... which, of course, she has had - at our house. I know, I forget a lot, too. Sometimes I have more patience than at other times. It was a great day, and a wonderful dinner.

Just a small personal message here.  I love my country, love the freedoms we enjoy here...  I never, ever thought in my lifetime this country would be in the mess we're in now. We have no leader, at least no one with the leadership skills that are needed for this place in time. The whole world is going to hell in a handbasket, and our so-called president is playing golf or on another multi-million dollar vacation with his worthless family. It disgusts me. HE disgusts me. I'm afraid for my children and grandchildren, afraid and sad. I hope we truly get rid of this piece of work in 2016, that he hasn't managed to totally decimate the Constitution and eliminate the two-year limit. I pray every night that we can rid this country of the infestation of evil from within. I truly hope the morons that voted for Obama simply because he was black (well, half black), don't vote for Hillary Clinton simply because she's a woman. I'm not even sure she's half a woman.... End of rant.


I've been working really hard to try and give this Tramadol a fair shake. I've been using only Tramadol, twice per day, just like he took me. When I called for the appointment today and I just got fed up. I have the pain, take the meds, nothing works. I don't notice any change in my pain level when I do take it.Lets hope we get to try something that can help. If he wants. Maybe percocet or Anvenza. Anything will help. Except shots, but when the pain is bad I'll try anything.

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Sleepless in Omaha

It was another sleepless night last night. I hate not being able to sleep. It's not like back in my reckless youth when I'd work all day, go out with friends, and then decide to drive to Minneapolis, get there early in the morning, run around all day and finally crash into oblivion for 4-5 hours and be ready to go.  It's awful. I take all my meds, get into bed, we watch a couple episodes of Parks and Recreation, Steve cons out, TV shuts off... I close my eyes and try to empty my head..... Nothing. I check my watch, a little after midnight. Close my eyes... Bitsy, our mini dachshund, inches her way up from my feet, slowly, slowly, until she's ready to jump up on Steve's pillow. I catch her, put her back on her blanket and lie down, close my eyes... immediately a line from some song starts repeating itself over and over and over in my head... Who sings that? I get up, Google the lyrics to find out the band. Great. Now I can sleep. Check the time, 1:22 a.m. crap. Close my eyes... Start thinking about how awesome it was that my dad saw angels in his hospital room before he died. Uh oh... I miss my dad!  My eyes start leaking and tears are running in my ears. If only Ben were here... Now the tears are really coming and my nose is starting to run. I'll never have another dog that I'll love the way I loved him. S tasting to sob, so I get out of bed, so as not to disturb Steve and sneak into the bathroom, trying not to wake Heidi and Buttercup, because they'll think it's morning...  I finally quit crying, blow my nose, wipe my eyes, and go back to bed. I close my eyes...  The jukebox in my head starts all over, I'm so dizzy, my head is spinnin', like a whirlpool, it never ends.  I'm so dizzy... NO! I sit up to check the time. Almost 3 a.m. what was in that Ambiem bottle? Sugar pills?  CRAP!  I heard Buttercup snorting and walking around.... who do you build me up, build me up, Buttercup Baby, just to let me down..... shut off the music in my HEAD!,,,,  I just want SLEEP!!! Now it's almost 4 a.m. only 2 hours until steve will wake me up when he gets up. It got quiet, the voices in my head start talking again. No, I'm not schizophrenic, either... obviously, no sleep  tonigh

Sometimes a little sleep can go a long way. Unfortunately not just tonight. At least I'm yawning tonight!,,