I'm sad and mad

On Wednesday there was a story in the news about a toddler who was found in a dumpster in LaVista. Not the body of a toddler, a living, breathing toddler. How much more depraved can a human being get? Even animals don't abandon their healthy offspring, but for some reason someone thought this was a thing they could do. When I think of what could have happened to that baby... turns out, he is 11 months old. What kind of filth did he put in his mouth? He could have been injured or killed by someone dumping something heavy on top of him. The dumpster could have been emptied and he could have been killed. Who knows how long he was in there? I'm disgusted and amazed that someone could have so little thought as to that baby's fate.

Coincidentally, down near Lauritzen Gardens near 7th and Bancroft a female's body was found lying in a ditch. Not so coincidentally, it was this child's mother. Yesterday, an Amber Alert was issued for the older brother, age 5, of the toddler. They thought he may have been abducted by someone driving the mother's silver Jeep Liberty, and they gave the license number.

Today, they found the Jeep,  abandoned. Now, this is where I get mad... There was no one in or around the Jeep, the 5 year old is still missing BUT THE AUTHORITIES CANCELED THE AMBER ALERT!!!   Apparently there has to be a vehicle involved for there to be an Amber Alert. What kind of genius thought that one up? So, theoretically, if someone snatches a child out of a park, its own yard, or a school carnival, and no one sees the kidnapper's vehicle they won't issue an Amber Alert. Or, in this case, they cancel it. What the hell?   So we have a baby in a dumpster, a dead mother, stolen an abandoned car, and a missing 5 year old, but no law enforcement agency in the country will have an active alert for the child. Why bother to have Amber Alerts at all then?

On to more pleasant topics. Today was our 27th wedding anniversary! We went to dinner at Legend's,  nobody makes a better burger IMHO. We were stuffed when we left there! We didn't do anything special afterwards, went to get Bitsy food, then went to Walmart for Milk Bones, a new, bigger dog bed, and rug shampoo. Married life! It's a thrill a minute! Just kidding - I prefer the old, comfortable kind of love.

Mom and Fred had to help Mickey-D to the Bridge yesterday. So sad. They had him a loooong time. Fred was pretty much inconsolable. He wanted Mick to die at home, but he changed his mind. Poor Mick was really suffering from CHF and a hugely enlarged heart. Poor baby.

Gale got another rescue dachshund to keep Audrey company. Her name is Lady, but Gale wants to call her Lucy, so for now she's Lucy-Lady.  She's a standard red, I can't wait to see her. Right now she has an analysis gland that was abscessed,  so we'll wait until she feels better.

So, in 6 days I'm going to be 58. Yikes! Next month is my 40th class reunion! Double yikes! I don't feel so bad though. Looking at everyone on FB, I never realized I went to school with so many bald, gray-haired, old people!

Happy Spring?

I thought maybe warmer weather was here a week or so ago. I was wrong.

We celebrated Bob's and Meg's birthdays last weekend. Family things aren't as much fun as they used to be. As we've gotten older, and kids have gotten older, we don't have much in common. B & L didn't say one word to us the entire time. D & S and their kids are much friendlier. Their kids have always been well-behaved and fun to be around, we did talk to them a little bit.

After the other families left, we found out our nephew is in rehab for an alcohol problem. Immediately, his wife was jumped on as the cause. I get so mad at this family sometimes. His wife is the best thing that ever happened to that guy. If it weren't for her, I can seriously see him still living at home, and probably not working. In his entire life he has never been able to keep a job. He has nothing set aside for retirement because he's never had a job long enough to get into a pension or 401 program. He's gotten so much money from my MIL to go to college it's ridiculous. He goes for one or two classes, then quits because he "doesn't have time", which loosely translated means he won't be a millionaire without having to work for it, so he loses interest. He's been doing that since he graduated from high school. He never officially drops the class, either; if he did, he'd get a refund to pay his grandmother back. Heaven forbid that happens! His wife, meanwhile, managed to get her Master's degree. Good thing, since they have 4 kids!  All you hear from the family is how selfish his wife is, because he hasn't been able to go to school. Drives me nuts. I don't understand everyone's need to bash her, when she's the one with the drive and ambition to keep the family together. She got an excellent job out of state several years ago and the family moved - since the nephew couldn't find a job here anyway. Now, according to everyone, that's the reason why he's been so unhappy. Oh please... He had a job back here last year that was supposed to be a great job, good pay, good benefits, etc. Once he got here and started working,  he immediately started complaining that he had to get up in the morning, drive all the way to work, then have to work until 5:30 or so, then come home and be so tired he'd fall asleep and then have to get up and do it all over the next day! Poor thing! Turns out he was drinking a lot then, plus talking every night for hours with his wife and kids. Steve made the comment that with all the complaining he was doing, he was just setting everything up to quit. Sure enough... He had to take an insurance class to keep the job, but he just had no time to study, because he was working SO hard. Sure enough, he went back home... but that's all his wife's fault too.

See, the thing is, I like his wife, I like her a lot. She's smart and funny and an all around good person, and I hate to be around when this talking behind her back goes on. This isn't the first time this has happened. It seems that when ever the family gets together his wife becomes the topic of the day. I'm sick of it. Plus, I wonder if that's how they talk behind her back, but are SO nice to her face, how do they talk about me when I'm not around? I really wouldn't care at this point. If they don't like me that's fine, saves me from having to go listen to their BS.  Just say the word and I'll stay away! The problem is, I know if I say anything or get sick enough of listening to them to say what I really think, then Steve will never hear the end of it, which will cause problems for us - even though he is totally with me on this. Life is never boring, that's for sure...

Amidst all this other stuff, my baby girl turned 34! I'm trying to figure out how that happened. It seems like just the other day she was in kindergarten, or high school, for that matter! Now, it's Hailey who's getting ready to start school! My granddaughter!  I'm so proud of Meg! We have our moments, but I love her to pieces. I hope the Lord hears my prayers and she and J get the thing they desire most.

That's it for now, I guess. Peace!

Happy New Year

Welcome, welcome 2015!  I always feel a bit nostalgic at the beginning of a new year, thinking about everything that's passed in the outgoing year. Good things, like the grand election results in November, kicking the Democrats to the curb; and sad things, like having to say goodbye to my beloved Ben, the longest dog with the biggest feet. I still cry whenever I think of him, but I know he's with all our other beloved furkids, just waiting for us at The Rainbow Bridge.

I'm hoping for a good year this year. I know every year is a mix of good and bad, happy and sad, and overall it's just what you make it. Precisely at 12 midnight tonight the electricity went off. Right in the midst of drinking sparkling grape juice and a firestorm of fireworks outside everything went black!

The More Things Change...

So far, 2015 hasn't been much better than 2014, healthwise. As a matter of fact, it's worse. I totally weaned off the prednisone. Yay, me, right? Wrong. I've been thinking that my pain was worse because we had some really exceptionally cold weather blast through right after the first of the year. Well, now it's been warmer than normal, like near 60 for a few days, and more warm weather expected next week, but my body is throwing a tizzy.  Today, I'm actually having a flare of the PR (palindromic rheumatism) in the top of my right hand. Haven't had one of those in awhile. Ouch. Plus, my pain level has been creeping up a little more every day. Tonight, I'm at about an 8. Dr S did give my old pain meds back, but not the same dose as the Fremont Dr S did. It does nothing. He gave me 30, and I don't go back until May. He only wants me to take 1 or 2 a week. I took 2 yesterday. Crap. Wednesday I got my check, so I went to Walmart for some groceries and a couple other things we needed. Mistake. Big Mistake. Thursday, yesterday, I could barely get out of bed. Today, I thought I was a little better until we went to Hobby Lobby and then again to Walmart, and then I made some brownies and started to make chicken enchiladas when I hit the bottom. Spoons were GONE. The Elders came over for dinner, I managed to make it until they left and I came to bed. I think my only solution may be prednisone again. Well really, I should be happy to look like the Michelin Man, right?

My laptop died today. That really sucks, I mean, really. This tablet is great for looking stuff up and maybe playing a game or two, taking pictures, etc., but to type and enter things for genealogy, not so much. Not at all, actually. I'm afraid it may be most sincerely dead. Last night I put it to sleep (good thing it's not a dog), and today the screen won't come on, and it doesn't connect to the internet.

That's about all the good cheer I can muster tonight. Later taters.

Happy Boxing Day (A nod to my Canadian relatives)

Gas is down below $1.99 a gallon! In Nebraska! Woohoo! I had just under half a tank, went to QT and filled it for $21 and some change. Ecstatic would describe my mood after that. It can keep going down too, that would be wonderful. I wonder if we'll see groceries drop a bit. Usually when gas goes up, so does the cost of food and you hear on the news it's because of "transportation costs". I get that, but I find it odd that the price doesn't go down when oil prices go down. I'm just going to make an effort to watch food prices. Heaven knows they've gone through the roof lately.

Sony had their website hacked last week. The CIA or FBI or some other government agency that doesn't know their honey from a hole in the ground said it was North Korea, since the movie "The Interview" was supposed to premiere Christmas Day. It's kind of a spy spoof about these two men who go to NoKo to interview their leader Kim Jung Un, or whatever his name is, but someone contacts them to assassinate him instead. It only saw a commercial a few times, so that description may not be totally accurate, but we've been led to believe the premise of the movie did not go over well in NoKo, so they hacked Sony picture's accounts. In retaliation, we shut down their country's Internet - such as it is. It's   so strictly monitored by the government that calling it the Internet is a joke. Today, NoKo says it wasn't them hacking Sony, so we better leave their Internet alone and then some NoKo spokesperson called Obama a "monkey" and now the heat is on. How DARE they call Mr Obama a monkey! That's just racist. No, that is knee-deep ping funny, because anybody with that face and those ears sure does resemble a simean. Too flipping funny. Now let's see what our side says. We're still technically  still at war with them. The only signed an aemistice, not a peace treary. Oh brother...

Then I started doing some research about frontotemperolobe dementia versus Alzheimer-type. That was a little more trouble in than I expected. They actually tell people to get in touch with genetic counselors. It can start younger than Alzheimer's dementia, and act like Parkinson for a bit. If a parent had it, there's a 50/50 chance of their children getting. This is all I need. Steve would really have to take care of me. Don't think he'd like that much.

There you go. Good news, bad news with a smile, and I'm still wondering about the temporal lobe stuff. Too much more to read.

Snowing tonight as we come to bed..... a little lit late jolly old Fatman. Let's see if we can get it done right next year.,

Christmas 2014

I haven't posted much about my fibro lately - rest assured, it's still with me! I have been doing better with the gabapentin, better than I had expected; but then the cold weather came. This past week has been hard. No, bad. Really bad. The past 2 days were cold and rainy, my version of kryptonite! Last Friday Hailey spent the night with us, and we so enjoyed having her. We took her to the ward activity, which was a breakfast with Santa, and she had great fun. When we got home Steve rolled out some store-bought cookie dough and they made some sugar cookies, she wanted to use the cookie cutters SO bad! She and Papa had fun doing that. Magann and Matt came over soon after and they took her home a little after noon. I then lay down on the sofa and slept for 2-1/2 hours. Think she wore me out much? 😊 it was very much worth it! I just had no more energy though. Weird thing about that, the pain is better, but the fatigue is terrible. Maybe worse than before. Poo poo, as Madeline would say.

I got a letter from Westroads Medical last month too - Dr. Snow is moving to a UNMC clinic on 175th  and Dodge. Two things. First, I don't like UNMC in any way, shape, or form. I've been taken by rescue squad to the hospital twice, and both times the care I received was terrible. For being "the" trauma hospital in Omaha, they suck. Number two,  his Westroads location was very convenient, the new one not so much. I don't want to change doctors again, so I'll deal with it. But I don't have to like it. I go see him on January 14, we'll see what can be done, if anything, about the fatigue. I've also noticed horrendous tinnitus. It's more annoying than anything, but it's really bad at night when we've been watching TV in bed and it shuts off and Steve is sleeping. Even if I have the radio on, set to go off in 15-20 minutes Steve says he can't sleep, so I need to shut it off. Hmmm, he was sure sleeping good enough with the TV blaring. I wonder if my meds are making that worse?

So, that's where I am fibro-wise.

It's about 3 a.m., so, if I say "yesterday" I mean Christmas Eve... We ended up going over to Sue and Smitty's for dinner. They had a nice spiral-bound ham with an apple cider glaze (that came with the ham). It was tasty! Everyone opened their gifts and we came home shortly after. It was nice. See? I can be nice! It's sure different not having Meg and Jason around! They'll be getting home on the 30th. They've posted a lot of pictures on Facebook. There's no snow on the ground in Lithuania, Estonia, or Latvia (as far as I can tell from the photos), but it does look cold, duh... They look like they're having a good time and keeping busy. I'll be glad when they get home!

We opened our gifts to each other. I got Steve his tomahawk, a fan for the wood stove, new stove gloves, a dachshund brewery sign, and a small fleece throw with dogs on it. Not one I made, just a small one from Target. He got me a 2 terabyte exterior hard drive. Woo hoo. Now, maybe I can do my Ancestry stuff on the big screen computer! Two terabytes! That's huge!

The only thing putting a damper on the day is that Bob has a terrible cold. I worry about him every time he gets sick. He is 86, and my dad is  gone. I'm not ready to lose Bob. Plus, as a rule, elderly people get sick and take longer to recover. Then, mom's memory is about as sharp as a bowling ball. When she first got to Sue's, mom commented on how nice the sweater was. I asked sue if it itched  she said it didnt, it was very soft, but it looked hair. I told her she looked like Sasquatsch. Haha ha? We all laughed about it at dinner wanted to know where she got it. Asked her if it was itchy! The whole 9 yards. Just like she hadn't asked because a 

Do You Ever Feel Like a Doormat?

I asked Steve tonight if he would just let bygones be bygones with my youngest sister. He told me he needs time to think about it. One thing that I've really come to understand and accept, especially in the past year since dad has been gone, is that life ends all too soon, and all too abruptly. There isn't always time for second chances. I'm also realizing (or admitting, take your pick) that my marriage is a constant game of one upmanship that Steve has to win. Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of playing. Things always go his way, or they don't go at all.

Example. About 6 years ago I said it would be nice if we started celebrating holidays (Christmas and Thanksgiving) as a family and his mom and Bob could take turns going to Sue's and our place. Up to this point, Sue and Smitty had one holiday at their house and we had the next at our place. Well, that went nowhere. Mom and Bob went to Sue's for Thanksgiving and Christmas, only coming to our house for bagels on Christmas morning. Of course this was my fault. Never mind that ever since we got  married we ALWAYS went to his mom's, and when his dad was alive we had to go there, too. It didn't help that my parents got divorced around the same time, so dad was with Pam ' s family and we weren't invited, and mom never seemed interested in family traditions. Several years dad has gone with us to Sue's or come here when we've had everyone over here. I've reiterated several times, especially since the kids grew up and had boyfriends, girlfriends, significant others, and children of their own, that I want to celebrate with our own family. It's especially difficult with Marisa sharing custody of Hailey. Still, we have to go to Sue's. Now, it's all the time since she's on oxygen. I don't WANT to go to their house every darn time. Sue's house is smaller, and I just want to stay home when it's cold. I always feel worse when I go out in the cold. How many times do I have to say it before it sinks in? Not to mention loading and unloading the car with food, gifts, etc., not to mention the menu never varies at their house and I think turkey soaked in wine tastes nasty, and so does stuffing inside the aforementioned bird. I try to bring different recipes for variety when we go, but it's always the exact same things cooked the exact same ways. Tradition is fine if it tastes good...

This really is going somewhere, I swear... So when Steve got mad at my sisters about 18 months ago, he told me they weren't allowed in "our" house. To be honest, at the time, I couldn't have cared less. I was dealing with all the repercussions of what had happened, and it was fine with me. Mel and I buried the hatchet before dad passed away, and technically, I'm no longer angry with Missy, but I just can't deal with her. Mel and I have always been close, we still are, so this ban on her coming to my house is getting ridiculous. She's my SISTER. Get over it already. Family is all you take with you into the eternities. I'm just tired of this. I told Steve I didn't want to go to Sue's for Thanksgiving. There is also another issue going on that I don't want to put on a blog, it's a family thing, and I don't enjoy the gossip and stories told about another person close to the family. I love this person and think others should be a lot kinder. I really dislike dealing with the whole mess, which is another reason I don't like to go. Well, I ended up going, even though I would have rather stayed home and had  frozen TV dinner.

Now comes Christmas and we've been invited for Christmas Eve. Since Meg and Jason are in Europe, and Matt, Margaret, and Hailey are coming over Christmas morning, we're "free" Christmas Eve. Great. So, once again I'll end up going just to keep the peace, while he thinks about letting my sister come over.

I always give in. I asked him to please at least tell me in advance when he and Tom plan on going to a gun show or go shooting. Ha ha ha. Never happens. It's like I don't exist. We had to buy a new carpet shampooer a few weeks ago. First, we went to one store, then he had to go see if it was cheaper at Walmart,  which involved going to an unfamiliar store, so we walked, walked, and walked some more, only to find out Walmart didn't have what he wanted, so back to the other store. He never even asked my opinion, what to you think about x versus y? Walked all over both stores in the meantime. I felt like crap by the time we were done. Why did I even have to go? If you're not going to let me help choose what WE are purchasing, go alone!

I just want to be recognized as a person, a partner, someone with half a brain...