Happy Spring?

I thought maybe warmer weather was here a week or so ago. I was wrong.

We celebrated Bob's and Meg's birthdays last weekend. Family things aren't as much fun as they used to be. As we've gotten older, and kids have gotten older, we don't have much in common. B & L didn't say one word to us the entire time. D & S and their kids are much friendlier. Their kids have always been well-behaved and fun to be around, we did talk to them a little bit.

After the other families left, we found out our nephew is in rehab for an alcohol problem. Immediately, his wife was jumped on as the cause. I get so mad at this family sometimes. His wife is the best thing that ever happened to that guy. If it weren't for her, I can seriously see him still living at home, and probably not working. In his entire life he has never been able to keep a job. He has nothing set aside for retirement because he's never had a job long enough to get into a pension or 401 program. He's gotten so much money from my MIL to go to college it's ridiculous. He goes for one or two classes, then quits because he "doesn't have time", which loosely translated means he won't be a millionaire without having to work for it, so he loses interest. He's been doing that since he graduated from high school. He never officially drops the class, either; if he did, he'd get a refund to pay his grandmother back. Heaven forbid that happens! His wife, meanwhile, managed to get her Master's degree. Good thing, since they have 4 kids!  All you hear from the family is how selfish his wife is, because he hasn't been able to go to school. Drives me nuts. I don't understand everyone's need to bash her, when she's the one with the drive and ambition to keep the family together. She got an excellent job out of state several years ago and the family moved - since the nephew couldn't find a job here anyway. Now, according to everyone, that's the reason why he's been so unhappy. Oh please... He had a job back here last year that was supposed to be a great job, good pay, good benefits, etc. Once he got here and started working,  he immediately started complaining that he had to get up in the morning, drive all the way to work, then have to work until 5:30 or so, then come home and be so tired he'd fall asleep and then have to get up and do it all over the next day! Poor thing! Turns out he was drinking a lot then, plus talking every night for hours with his wife and kids. Steve made the comment that with all the complaining he was doing, he was just setting everything up to quit. Sure enough... He had to take an insurance class to keep the job, but he just had no time to study, because he was working SO hard. Sure enough, he went back home... but that's all his wife's fault too.

See, the thing is, I like his wife, I like her a lot. She's smart and funny and an all around good person, and I hate to be around when this talking behind her back goes on. This isn't the first time this has happened. It seems that when ever the family gets together his wife becomes the topic of the day. I'm sick of it. Plus, I wonder if that's how they talk behind her back, but are SO nice to her face, how do they talk about me when I'm not around? I really wouldn't care at this point. If they don't like me that's fine, saves me from having to go listen to their BS.  Just say the word and I'll stay away! The problem is, I know if I say anything or get sick enough of listening to them to say what I really think, then Steve will never hear the end of it, which will cause problems for us - even though he is totally with me on this. Life is never boring, that's for sure...

Amidst all this other stuff, my baby girl turned 34! I'm trying to figure out how that happened. It seems like just the other day she was in kindergarten, or high school, for that matter! Now, it's Hailey who's getting ready to start school! My granddaughter!  I'm so proud of Meg! We have our moments, but I love her to pieces. I hope the Lord hears my prayers and she and J get the thing they desire most.

That's it for now, I guess. Peace!

Hell, Or Something Like It

This past week was, without a doubt, the worst week I've ever had in terms of pain - length and severity. In retrospect, it's been a trying couple months and this week was just a culmination of everything.  Yay.

The Law Enforcement Memorial service was held on May 15. Dad's name was read, since he died this past year. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, I think. It wa

I woke up a week ago Saturday with my hands and feet just burning up, my sure sign of a flare. Then my MIL ended up back in the hospital with complications from her gallbladder surgery, and it went downhill from there. It was like riding a roller coaster between pain and feeling okay, but it would just hit in waves which sent me back to bed on and off until Saturday this week. I've never had 6 days of feeling so bad in a row before. Once you get fibro, you never have what used to be a normal day, but this past week was hard to deal with. I made it though. It was held outside, but it was cool and windy. Missy and Tony got there first, so they held places for everyone in the front row. In the sun. Not good - sun exposure had always been my nemesis. The ceremony was very moving. Garry Grand was a speaker, and he mentioned dad by name. That was hard. He was supposed to be our escort up to the memorial to put a rose in the wreath but Me land I decided to just let Missy do it. She loves attention, let her have it. I dislike Garry more than I need attention. Afterward, at the luncheon, she and Garry sat apart from the rest of the family. All her kids were there - they sat with us. We all went to the cemetery to leave the yellow roses we got. It was too cold and windy, plus Sarah had to be at work shortly afterward, so we didn't stay long. Meg and Jason were there for the whole thing, but not Matt or Margaret. It would have been nice if Steve would have gone, but he didn't.  Bob wanted to come, but mom was still in the hospital... at last it was over.

There's a memorial service at the Vet's home tomorrow,  but I'm not going. Garry and Wendy are going. No thanks. I'm done for this year. It's 6 months today (well, actually yesterday, I'm just up late... Six months. I never imagined it would be this difficult. Never.

Augh

I'm sick to death of this crap. I swear, if I had my way I'd spin a bottle in the driveway and go whatever direction it pointed and that would be that.

Dad paid that idiot Deb Cunningham the money he owed her a couple of weeks ago, which enabled him to get his entire file from her and give it to Richard H., his new divorce attorney. Sounds like that should have alleviated some of the problems we had with getting the documents he needed, but not so. Apparently Pam's discovery information wasn't in the file. Richard contacted Pam's attorney who said it had been completed for Dipshit Cunningham, Esq., and was in that file. Guess what? It wasn't. I talked to Richard the other day and he went through the complete file that he had and no discovery. He suggested we called Cunningham first and tell her the discovery information was missing and if we didn't get anywhere, he'd call her. So Mel called yesterday and talked to her assistant, Phillip, because (wouldn't you know it) Cunningham was out of the office. I doubt she was working... Phillip told Mel he would check the files and around the office and call her back. Another amazing coincidence - No return phone call. Today Mel called AGAIN and Peggy, the secretary, told Mel that Cunningham and Philip had just come into the office, but amazingly enough when Peggy asked her name and Mel told her Peggy was mistaken and it wasn't them she had seen come in the office. It took her 5 minutes to figure that out, however. When Mel said she was calling about the discovery information for dad, Peggy said she had just put it in the mail this morning for dad's new attorney. Finally!!! BUT when Mel called Richard to tell him the discovery information was in the mail, he said he had called Cunningham yesterday and spoken directly to the amazing disappearing lawyer herself and gee, she really didn't THINK she had ever done a discovery on Pam. WTF?! I'm curious as hell to see what shows up in the mail at Richard's office. Cunningham also told Richard that "the girls wanted the house and I just didn't know what do to". OMG, that lying BITCH! We have never, ever, ever told anybody that we wanted the house - because we don't! We told Cunningham time and time, and time again that Pam could have whatever she wanted, including the house, anytime she wanted it. But allegedly she never wanted anything. At least that's what Cunningham told us. Of course, she also told me to send the bills to Pam while dad was comatose in the hospital, but she told Mel that she never told me that. That woman is such a liar - and a thief, considering how much money dad paid her - for nothing. I'm going to write to the Nebraska Bar association about her. They won't give her the electric chair, which would be nice, but maybe just having such information on her will do somebody some good. I'm also going on every lawyer review site I can find and tell anybody who wants to know what a lying scumbag she is. Of course I'll tell the truth and try not to be libelous about it.

Richard also told Mel that he's concerned that if my dad goes into a VA facility that Pam will ask for a portion of his pension. What the hell else can she possibly take from him? She left him $70,000 in debt, in a house he can't afford and also can't sell, and now she wants any money the VA doesn't take for his care until he dies. Fuck her.

I seriously think that probably God gave me fibromyalgia because if I were in good health and 100 pounds lighter, I'd kick her ass around the block and back. I'm so mad I can't even hardly type this. I hate her. I absolutely loathe and despise her and I wish she were dead. Fine, I'll go to hell for saying that, but it's true. If nothing else ever happens that I wish for, I hope dad outlives the bitch. I don't care if it's only by 2 minutes, I just want to see her with NOTHING. Richard also said we can't have an estate sale when dad goes into a nursing home. Okay. Maybe we need to get rid of the stuff before then. Fine with me.

I think another thing that's making this situation so intolerable is the whole Hailey thing. At least every other week I had her to take my mind off other crap and now I'm lucky if I see her 2 days a month. I have tried, seriously tried to be a good person in my life. I have made mistakes, just like everyone else, i'm human... But I'm so tired of being fucked over by everybody and everything that I just quit. I feel like all he joy and goodness have been sucked right out of my life. I miss my baby girl. Matt said when Skank came to pick her up the other night she told him she had to have an MRI, but he didn't ask what for. Dare we hope? See, I am going to hell. I think it bugged her to no end that Matt didn't ask why she had to have the MRI - he said she told him about 3 times, but all he said was okay. Ha ha ha... Like we give a rat's ass what happens to her. I guess since AIDS doesn't show up on an MRI, that's not the problem. At least not yet. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think of Hailey living with that idiot and her alcoholic, psychotic mother. Her dad is okay, but he won't open his mouth for fear of getting it slapped shut by Bipolar lady. What a mess. Good reason not to pick up whores in a bar, they end up pregnant and you're stuck for life.

I alsmot wish I could drink, maybe life would be tolerable then.