Thanksgiving and beyond

We had a great Thanksgiving! It was at our house this year and we worked like little devils and got the place cleaned up - thanks to mom!  Cooked the turkey, made the relish tray, fixed my strawberry pretzel salad, and the day went great. Of course the whipped cream on the pie, so to speak, was having Hailey over for dinner! She's so sweet, and growing like a weed. She loves to talk and can tell stories now, not just parrot phrases back to you - so that's fun. We had a good crowd and we ate about 4, so everyone was gone by 8 or so. It was time to relax and enjoy the quiet after the hubbub... Good day!

Saturday after Thanksgiving Matt came over to do some laundry and brought Hails with him. We took her out to do some grocery shopping and pick out a tree - what fun! So glad we got to take her with us! We were listening to Christmas music on the radio and they identified their station, something like, 104.5 the Star, your Christmas station - Hailey pipes up from the back seat of the truck "Your Christmas station". We had to laugh, it was just so fully the way she said it. She loves making people laugh too, the big ham.

Meg and Jason came over for dinner Saturday night, I made my potato and ham chowder. Steve and Jason got the tree set up - and then we discovered the tree stand was leaking - a hole had rusted through. I think if it didn't sit on the back porch from January to July it wouldn't have rusted out, but what do I know? Anyway, had it up and ready for the lights, but then Steve made a quick trip to Home Depot and got a new stand. In the meantime, Meg and Jason (mostly Meg - come on, how many guys decorate for Christmas?) got a lot of our decorations put out. Definitely looking like Christmas! Another good day!

I did something to my back before Thanksgiving and it's really bothering me. Now it's moved up and is in my neck, so I can't turn my head or tilt it back without a lot of pain. Sucks, but if that's all I have to complain about, I'm happy! It's only 19 degrees out tonight. I hate the cold - despise it as a matter of fact, but we have many more moons of cold weather coming, I'm afraid.

That's it for now - I have to upload my iPod to get some new pics and the video of Hailey talking about what lives in birdhouses... I love her so much and miss her every day! Can't wait until summer when Matt has her for months instead of a week!

Hailey Turned TWO

Hapiley had a wonderful birthday - she's quite the little social butterfly! Matt said he probably didn't hold her for more than a half hour total all day, but she sure went around the entire part and visited with everybody! Magann's sister did face painting and Hailey had a blue and yellow butterfly on her face - she was so cute! She got a lot of new toys to play with and a bunch of new clothes. One of the cutest outfits was a pair of black jeans and a leather-looking sleeveless vest - very cute and very biker babe! ROFL. We had a lot of fun - Sue V. made all the food, a lot of Italian sausage and hot dogs, lots of fresh fruit and potato salad, and Matt and Magann had gotten her a small cake from Petit's and gotten some specialty cupcakes, so everyone was able to have some cake, everything was great. I made the gift bags for the kids who attended and that was fun, I think they were kind of cute. I put off waiting them too long though, I didn't finish with them until 2:30 and I had to pick mom and Bob up at 3:30 - oops. I got them and we got to the party in plenty of time. Hailey was excited to see me, and was kind of jealous that I wanted to pay any attention to Lexi's new baby girl. I'm her nana and she's not going to let me forget it. Kylie has her own nana and it's sure not me! Nevermind that Kylie and Steven are sharing their Nanny Sue with Hailey! Watching Hails open her presents was fun. She was all for the toys, but had no use for the clothes. As soon as she'd open an outfit she'd toss it on the floor! No matter, sooner or later she's going to be a clothes horse like I was - when I was thin and buying clothes was fun! I can't wait to see her in some of her new clothes, she'll be so darling! Steve V and Sue bought her a winter coat that's going to be really cute. She's growing up so fast though, it just boggles my mind! Hailey spent lots of time running back and forth between me and Steve throughout the evening. It really made Steve's night when, after we left, Hailey fell near the swings and ran right past Matt to get a healing kiss from Papa. I have to think maybe our relationship and his relationship with my kids would have been so much better if we had been able to have kids of our own. He's finally starting to understand why I feel the way I do about my kids. When you have a child around you from the very first and you realize how much they depend on you to nurture and care for them, it makes quite a difference. I sure miss having Hailey here ever day - even every other week, what a blessing that was! In other news - I had my preop physical with Dr. S today, so everything is set for Thursday - except me. I'm always such a chicken before surgery. I'm not looking forward to 5 or 6 weeks in that darn boot again, and not being able to drive, but it will be nice if my ankle doesn't hurt so much and maybe I can walk again. I'd like to lose some of this weight I'm hauling around. I was sure hoping we'd have dad settled somewhere by this time, but apparently that's not the plan God has in mind. Mel changed her mind about moving, I know it was going to be hard for her financially, so it's probably the best thing, but I wish she wasn't so tied down with dad. Miss is worthless. Mel had told her last week that they needed to start swapping who was in charge on the weekends and since Miss had been at Ray's the week before (for 4 days), it was her turn to be home with dad this past weekend. Ha ha ha. She said "okay" like she always does, but took off like a scalded dog Friday night. She put in a cameo appearance on Saturday and then was off again. Mel doesn't want to say anything to her because she's such a royal bitch if you do, but if you don't; then she thinks she can do whatever she wants. I just want dad to be in a safe place - and that means far, far away from Missy. I can't count the number of times I've said "You need to WATCH dad, you can't sleep all day" and her response is always "Okay" and the very next day I can call dad at noon and she's still sleeping. She didn't even learn her lesson after dad sat right next to her and drank antifreeze and it didn't faze her in the least. I think if dad dropped dead in front of her, it wouldn't matter, she's so freaking stupid. I guess all I can do is be grateful that she's not in charge of me - ha ha ha, she can't even take care of herself. I talked to Dr. S today about the low dose naltraxone study for fibro, and about a different way to control pain. I'm not really happy about the Tyelenol in the hydrocodone and it's long term effect on the liver. There's a drug, new to me, called Savella that he wants me to try. I'm hoping something works, this pain is just getting ridiculous. I was in bed most of the day Friday, just overdid it on Thursday. On Saturday, I got up and did some light housework and got the dishes clean, and then I ended back up in bed before I got up to go to dad's. Adam came home from the hospital and we were invited over for awhile. Sunday wasn't too bad, at least I managed to stay up the whole day! After the surgery I'll start the Savella and see how it goes. It came with a 2 week starter pack, by that time I should know how it's going to work and then Dr. S will call in a prescription. I hope it works. I'm so tired of pain, pain, pain... Not to mention the idiots who don't get it. Speaking of which, Jason took Steve out for a beer Thursday after Hailey's party. Isn't that sweet? I'm glad Steve didn't invite him over, that little asshole isn't welcome here - at least not by me. I love the way people in this stupid family want everything to be forgotten and forgiven, but they never feel the need to apologize. Ah well, don't expect much from my family and I'm never disappointed. It was hot today, 90 degrees, but since I know the end of the long hot summer is in sight, I enjoyed the drive to and from Fremont. Just crank up the iPod and cruise on down the hghway, beautiful! I put the first scrape on my car Thursday night and nobody can blame it on medication either... I hadn't taken any pain meds at all since I was busy before I left and then I was going to drive, so I figured I'd take it when I got home... By 8:30 I was feeling pretty rocky and I just wasn't paying close enough attention when I pulled into the garage. I just got some paint smear on the mirror on the passenger side. I'm pretty sure it will buff out, but at least the first scratch is over and done! You kind of hold your breath when driving until the first scratch happens and when it does, you can relax! Yesterday was the most exciting day! The other night Dorothy and I had decided to look for Mollie, who was one of our friends from over 30 years ago. We finally found her and I had sent her a message on FB asking to be friends. She answerd me back and called me Saturday afternoon, so we made plans for her to come over on Sunday. It was so good to see her! You know you're good friends when you can see each other after 30 years and pick up right where you left off. We talked Sunday for 3 hours before she had to go - I'm looking forward to having her be a friend again and part of my life. She's still the sweet person she used to be. Love her! And THAT was my weekend!

The Boys of Summer are gone

We had a really good time yesterday. Mom, Bob, Meg, Jason, Matt, Magann, and Hailey came over for dinner. Steve grilled some really great filets and made his famous frog eye salad - which Hailey refuses to eat - so we had a good time. Everyone got to visit a bit, and be charmed by Hailey. That's what grandchildren are all about, right? Meg and Jason had to leave to go watch The Screamer, so we didn't get to play any games or anything. Mom and Bob stayed to watch that horrible movie about aliens invading Los Angeles. I've blocked the title out of my mind, it's not one of my favorite movies. I'm loving the cool weather, and I'm going to love it even more when I get a chance to adjust to it. For right now, it's cooler, which slows me down a little, but it feels so nice to just sit outside and read or just watch people go by. Today we had planned on going to the church picnic, but Mel called and as usual Missy didn't come home last night. She probably thinks Mel was off today, which she isn't, but how would you know that if you won't answer your phone, hmmmmm? Mel tried to call both Ray and Missy and they won't answer the phone. Sarah is home with him right now, but I'm leaving to go over and take care of dad for the afternoon. I thought about taking him to the picnic with us, but he's so unsteady on his feet again and I don't know where the picnic is in relation to the park, or where we would have to park the car, so I'm just going out to dad's. I don't mind really, but when you depend on someone to do something and they blow off their responsibility and expect others to cover, it pisses me off. I don't know why, I know Missy is the most irresponsible person on the planet, I should be used to it by now. I also think is miraculous how when she gets a shot when she's home with dad, she has to sleep for 24-36 hours, but when she gets a shot when she's at Ray's she can be out getting her hair done the next morning. I guess having someone else pay to have you hair done is very therapeutic.'m Looking forward to Hailey's party on Thursday. I can't believe that little stinker is going to be 2 already. Hard to think that it was a year ago she was smooshing chocolate cake into Matt's mouth while we celebrated her first birthday! Sue is in North Carolina for a couple days getting one of Magann's sisters settled, but she's planning on doing all the cooking for the party - I'm going to call her when she gets home and offer to do some of it - what a lot of work for one person!!! I'll post pics later, gotta run! Everybody have a wonderful fall day!

The 22-Year Itch, or Why I Wish I Had Stayed Single

It's hot - and humid, and I'm tired and cranky. Or maybe fed up would be the better word. I think I'd be a lot happier sometimes if my life was a place of my own and my dogs. Sometimes being married is almost not worth the effort. Who am I kidding, it's not worth the effort.

Tonight we went over to be with dad while Mel went to see Jason Aldean. Yes, I know I was just bitching about my sisters recently, but you know, we have to work together to get dad taken care of and in a safe place. Once that's done, I'll decide whether I want to deal with everybody else or be a hermit. I know how much Mel wanted to see the concert and when her friend got her tickets I felt like it wouldn't be such a big deal to go spend some time with dad. We didn't have any big plan tonight, other than to go to Borders, which means I watch Steve read magazines while I try to look interested in something interesting to keep my interest. Luckily Borders is closing, so I won't have to worry about that anymore - although it's really about the only thing we do together anymore.

After we stopped at Arby's for dinner (Steve's favorite restaurant and my least favorite), we headed on over to dad's. First thing I said to Steve when went into the house was to leave the chair by the windows for dad because that's the only chair dad can get in and out of - so he immediately went over and sat in the chair. Maybe I just imagined I said it...

Almost the first thing out of dad's mouth was, "How about we go for a ride over to about 158th & Dodge?" What a coincidence, Pam lives over in that neighborhood! "Why?" "I have to give someone a bathing suit." "No, dad, we're not going to Pam's so you can drop off a bathing suit." Keep in mind she left a year ago last March - a whole swimming season has come and is nearly gone and she's just now missing her bathing suit? "I'm just going to toss it up on her balcony." "No." "I"m not going to talk to her." "No." "We can go out for ice cream afterwards." "Why don't we just go out for ice cream and forget the bathing suit?" No answer. I won that round.

Twenty minutes later we're watching dad's favorite channel (ID - Investigation Discovery), when he says, "Missy had Marc shut my phone off". "Dad we talked about this for 3 hours yesterday, I'm not going to talk about it anymore." "I want a phone." "You don't need a phone." "Do you have your phone with you?" "No." I lied, so I had to reach in my purse and look for something while I surruptitiously shut the thing off. Thankfully that did end the conversation about phones and Pam. Even with dementia you'd think he'd know better than to ask me to take him anywhere within a mile of that Devil's Spawn. So, we watched some show about the Ten Deadliest Women (horrific show BTW), and he settled in pretty much for the rest of the evening. He really was in a good mood, and about 9:30 or so, Steve got out of his chair and went to the dining room to sit at the table and read. I really wasn't having a bad time at all, as a matter of fact, I nearly finished Laura Ingraham's book "To Thee I Zing" - good book, and several parts had me laughing out loud. Good book! Mel and Sarah got home about 11:40, and before I could even ask how the concert was and look at their pictures, Steve was standing at the front door, hat already on his head, waiting to leave. God forbid we engage in some social politeness. He would have a fit if I treated his family like that - lucky for him, I have more manners, and I genuinely love my in-laws.

I don't think we really needed the air conditioning on the ride home. I said at one point, "I know you're mad, but thank you for coming with me and being supportive", I didn't at the "for once" that nearly slipped through my mouth though. Of course he didn't answer. That is the one thing that absolutely infuriates me - that, or giving me the Vulcan Death Stare. Luckily, neither of us are Vulcans, so I'm not dead yet. Totally ignoring me is also another way to tell me later that I never said anything, as in "I never heard you say that" so I must be nuts, right? Some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice. I don't even care if it wouldn't have been something along the lines of "I'm never going out there again", would be better than being ignored. The chill lasted all the way home, even after I commented that maybe I should put blue neon lights under my car so it would glow blue at night - I really thought that would get something... As soon as he let the dogs out and back in, he bolted for his Man Cave, even though it was 12:30. I love my life. Not so sure about this relationship thing though. Is total disinterest and no respect grounds for divorce? Thank God for India at this point, at least somebody listens to me - poor girl.

Yesterday dad spent the afternoon with me and we stopped at Wal-Mart for peach water. I picked up 12 bottles of tangerine/lime water instead of peach. Nasty stuff, I thought they were trying to poison me until I finally read the label. I intended to take it back today, but it was too freaking hot and I was up until after 2:30 with achy legs. Now, I wish I had taken them back... I'd like a peach water and hydrocodone please - and Calgon. Yes, Calgon would be good too...

Looking forward to this weekend. Matt has Hailey, so we'll get to see her. The week and a half she's with her mom seem to get longer and longer all the time. She changes so much from one visit to the next. Pardon the whine, but I still really miss having her with me every day. They are supposed to go to court in September. He got a letter from his lawyer on July 11, telling him that going to trial would cost between x and x amount of dollars and he (the lawyer) required 10% of the highest amount before trial. So, Matt assumed (you know what they say about assuming anything - especially where the law is concerned) that he would have until September to get the money. Oh hell no, the lawyer's secretary called him on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday) telling him they needed the money by August 1. Wow, how considerate.

Uh oh, Mr. Happy is coming to bed, better get ready to hit the hay - or wait, maybe he's just raiding the fridge...

Long story short - Matt got the money, thanks to his friend Joe, Mom, and myself. Of course Steve opted out of the "save Hailey" program. "I feel sorry for him, but..." Yeah, so much for how much he loves Hailey. About as much as he loves me, apparently.

Not bad for a Monday - thoughts on motherhood...

Hailey got to come over today for awhile while Magann took a test. It was a very welcome surprise - I could use more Mondays like that! I actually was awake early to make phone calls to dad's hospital, lawyer, and the Board of Mental Health, so when Matt called I was thinking about trying to go back to bed, but spending time with Hailey was a much better option.
so
We got her trike out and she rode a little bit in the driveway. She's finally getting the hand of the pedals, but doesn't quite have the coordination to put with alternating feet to keep it going, but at least the whole concept is getting more familiar. I have some pinwheels in my front yard, I get them every summer in memory of my dogs that I've lost and Hailey always wants to put them somewhere other than where I have them, so we moved them around a bit until she was satisfied with the end result. By then it was time for a Goldfish break, so the dogs had fun begging for food. I have to laugh at Hailey and Toby... Toby has been known to try to nip her on the bottom, so she walks around with her right hand on her behind, saying, "NO, TOBY! My butt!" while he follows her around the house. I'm going to have to get an actual video of it before she outgrows doing it because it just cracks me up!

Didn't go see dad today. I thought about it, but that's about as far as it got. Tomorrow Meg wants us to come to Fremont to have ice cream with her, so don't know if I'll make it tomorrow night or not. The BOMH hearing is tomorrow and I think we have to be there... I plan on being there anyway, Not sure what to expect with that. I must be worrying a bit about it, I'm still awake at nearly 1 a.m. Yes, amitriptyline and Ambien are long gone and still no sleep.

A former co-worker passed away last week and I just found out about it the other day. For some reason it's really bothering me. We weren't very close - she worked on call nights and I worked days, but when we both worked at the hospital our shifts overlapped by about an hour, so I saw her every once in awhile. I liked working with her, she really was one of those who worked hard when she came in, even though she managed to chat a little. Very nice girl. I can't decide what bothers me more, that she was 4 years younger than I am, or that she left behind her 7-year-old son. Both, I guess. Fifty isn't old, and that's scary/sad, but to leave a little boy just breaks my heart. She passed away on July 4th and all I can think of is that for the rest of his life that little guy will always associate fireworks with his mom's death. Kind of like how I hate poinsettias because my grandmother died in December and that's ALL she had at her funeral. Ugh. I hate those things. I wonder, too, how much he'll remember of his mom - who absolutely adored him, by the way. My "Poppy" died when I was six, and as much as I'd like to say I have vivid memories of him, I just don't. I remember him, but more like a dream, his voice is altogether gone from my memory. You wish you could hold onto those things and hug them to your chest and never let them go -- but at the time, you don't realize that one day those memories will be as dead as they are. I don't have one single picture of myself with him. None. That makes me sad, but at least I have pictures of him - so his face will never be erased from my memory.

When my kids were younger I guess I always lived with some kind of dread in the back of my mind that something would happen to be. Of course that was compounded by the fact that I was Meg's only parent, and Matt's father was... well, let's just say Matt needed his mom. I wasn't only afraid for them, I wanted to see them grow up, graduate, get married, have families of their own. I thought maybe I was over that a little now that they're both well into adulthood and out on their own - and then along comes Hailey... I don't want to miss watching her grow up, and I don't want her to forget me. Kind of silly when you think about it. Que sera sera and all that stuff. I guess my solution is to take lots of pictures - and lots of videos. Things have changed a bit since 1965 when Poppy died.

Well, I hope that somewhere that little boy finds joy in fireworks and he remembers every time he sees those flashes in the sky that his mommy loved him more than anything.

As far as life in general - hot, humid, nasty weather last night and we had storms come in late. Every fibro person knows what that means. Not much sleep and an achy today. Hope tonight is better, since I can't drive to the courthouse taking pain meds, so none until late tomorrow afternoon. I made dinner tonight, meatloaf, baked potatoes... Yummy. I thought maybe since I made dinner someone ELSE would clean the kitchen. Ha ha ha... Too funny! He disappeared right after dinner to go watch another astronomy lecture. I guess if I felt well enough to cook dinner, I should have felt well enough to clean the kitchen. Speaking of cleaning, our bedroom is getting out of hand. I have to clean the vanity, gross... Tonight I knew I had 2 Elavil in the palm of my hand, but somehow one kind of flipped out of my hand and I couldn't find it. I had to turn the "movie star" lights on around the mirror since their brighter. That was disgusting. Dim light is definitely better in this place... Anyway, I searched high and low, behind the door, under the sink, moved the box of winter clothes that I've been waiting to have taken downstairs since April... No pill. I finally gave up and got another one out of the bottle and went to take a drink to wash it down and found the first pill -- in the water glass! I have no idea how it got in there! Anyway, since I'm not sleepy, still achy, and no sleep in sight I'm going to take another one and see if that helps. I'll worry about cleaning tomorrow, after all, tomorrow IS another day.

PS - I'm annoyed that Blogger removed the spellcheck button from the new post page. Don't blame me if something is spelled wrong. It's their fault.


M

Friday, or is it Saturday, wait, maybe Thursday?

No, it's really Friday, but I've been thinking all day it's Saturday. I'm so tired and emotionally wrung out I just want to SCREAM!

I got a call from Mel last night about 6:30 or so, dad had drunk some antifreeze and the rescue squad was taking him to Methodist Women's Hospital (since it was closest hospital). So, that was my ticket to the crazy train. I grabbed my purse and headed out. We were pretty sure dad would get an EPC done, especially since this was his second suicide attempt in a little over a year. Oh hell no. Dad tells the cop at the hospital he just drank a little "for attention", he had no intention of hurting himself - I mean, he was a cop before, right? He knew that a little wouldn't really hurt him. (Maybe not, but a very pissed off daughter might...) So, the cop comes out and tells us he's not going to EPC dad. (Sorry, EPC is an emergency commital procedure for mental health.) Dad "volunteered" (my ass) to stay for treatment, but there really wasn't anything anyone else could do. Whatever. Sometimes that "Good Old Boy" network is a little much to take. So, Miss, Mel, and I spend until 10:15 waiting for blood results, etc., to see what, if any damage he had done to himself. When we asked him what he was thinking he said he was "just stupid" and he never really meant to do it. Come on - you walked through the garage, found a dirty cup, complete with cobwebs, poured antifreeze into the cup, walked back over to the chair you had been sitting in and... Ooops, just drank the darn stuff!!! Missy was sitting right there! I don't blame her for this, as soon as she realized what he was doing, she asked him what was in the cup and he told her, "Antifreeze". God give us strength.

By 10:15 they decided he was going to be fine, but they were going to have to transfer him to Methodist Hospital (no vagina, can't stay at the women's hospital), where he would have a couple beers, supposedly the antidote for antifreeze poisoning, and stay the night. Today Mel and I went up to see him and he was chomping at the bit to go home. The internal med doctor had been in and told him he could go home, BUT he still had to see the psychiatrist. (Oh, the officer told us last night that if dad tried to leave the hospital AMA, that we could THEN get an EPC, because... Well, that just doesn't make sense, does it? Who would want to leave a hospital?)

Dad just got crankier and crankier as the day progressed. He was SURE that Mel and I were conspiring to keep him in the hospital - Mwa ha ha.... The psychiatrist FINALLY came in about 2 or so and talked to him alone for about 10 minutes before she decided he was in no shape to go back home. She met with Mel and I and we decided to go for a BOMH (Board of Mental Health) commitment and Dr. T said she would arrange for transport to a mental health facility here in Omaha as soon as a bed was open. Oh, and before that even happened, we were all waiting in his room and dad nodded off. When he woke up, he didn't know where he was, didn't remember being there all night and half the day today, and didn't remember drinking antifreeze or having to go to the ER last night. Woo Wooo... All ABOARD THE CRAZY TRAIN!!!

Before I sound like a total shrew, I love my dad, and this all really breaks my heart. I know he is not competent and I know he has dementia. There are just some days that are so full of CRAP that I can't hardly breathe. And today is one of them.

Mel and I left Methodist because I knew dad would absolutely blow a gasket when he found out what was in the works (and I wasn't wrong). I had just gotten home when Mel called and said the hospital had called her and Heritage Center has a bed for dad, so they were going to be transferring him and we needed to go out there to fill out the paperwork. Terrific. We were supposed to be at Sue and Smitty's at 6 for a birthday party for Alec, Jackie, and Madi. I grabbed my purse, and again, I was off like a speeding blue bullet!

Dad arrived about 4:40, and Mel, Sarah, and I were getting the interview done. i felt really bad when I found out he had to be transported in handcuffs. That's the only thing that has made me cry all weekend. (Take that you people who think I have no heart!) The thought of dad in cuffs just really hurts me, and I know he was probably humiliated beyond belief. I'm so sorry, dad.

When he came in, Mel went down to his room with him. He's in the locked locked unit - as opposed to the regular locked unit, and I'm sure that makes him even madder. He wanted to see us before we left, but when Mel went down to see him he was yelling about how this is bullshit and he's going to run away. Uh huh...

I dont' know what's going to happen. The woman (Polly?) at HC told us we wouldn't need the BOMH hearing because we were dad's powers of attorney, but they won't keep him on a long-term basis, so I just don't know. He can't come home, he just can't. He's been threatening to kill himself ever since last year, this time he just acted on it. What next? This is not something Adam and Sarah need to be around 24/7. Dad has no money for a nursing home and we sure as heck don't have the money. Our meeting with the admission board isn't even until the 28th of July... Holy buckets. Mel says she hasn't heard anything from his caseworker about the Medicaid. I think maybe she did, but it just got lost in the shuffle. I hope we don't have to reapply, but I bet we will.

I finally left the hospital at 6:20 and got to Sue and Smitty's in time to have dinner and see Hailey and Emma playing together. I loved it! They are so cute together, it's too bad that Emma lives in Tennessee! One of the worst, crappiest days turned into a great day by seeing Hailey smile! She kept coming over to me and giving me loves. She means the world and more to me. It was good to see Magann too, she's been working like a crazy woman - 85 hours last week alone! Holy sandman, Batman!

When I got home tonight, absolutely exhausted I realized that Steve had not done one single solitary thing since I left last night. The dishes were piled up in the sink, the laundry still needed to be put away, everything was just like I left it last night at 6:30. Oh, and he only had to work 1/2 day today... He had stayed at Sue and Smitty's when I left because I was so tired. After he came home and just before I got into bed to write my book for the night, I walked into our bathroom and was met by a huge puddle of water. The magazine that he left open on the floor (after using the bathroom this morning) was entirely soaked, the towel on the floor was soaked, and there was s small river leading into the other room. When I called him to the bottom of the stairs and asked him what happened he said one of the dog's beds got into their water bowl and he hung it up on the shower door to dry... Of course, it seeped to the lowest end of the blanket and ran down the shower door onto the floor. I told him about the mess and he said, "Wow, really?" and went back into the other room to watch TV. Oh yeah, he understands fibromyalgia all right. He knows what a hard couple days I've had and he's SO, SO willing to help.

Just between you and me, I don't care if those damn dishes ever get washed...

M

Thank you so much for your kind words...

So, apparently the son and his ex-girlfriend have done the mediation thing and she doesn't want Hailey to be spending the night at our house anymore. Really? I can think of a lot of bad words to say right now, but I'm really trying to be better about that. All I can say is Really? We're so bad to her here, right? She has her own room here, this is the most stable place she has in her little life. In the past 17 months you have lived in 4 places, you're taken her God knows where, YOU broke her leg, she came to my house with bruises all over her back from YOU or your "boyfriend" or your parents, yet you don't want her to be at our house? You have a lot of freaking nerve. We stood by you when you were pregnant because your own parents wouldn't speak to you, and this is how you decide to treat us? You're so kind. It's so nice you're thinking of what's best for Hailey. And on top of all this, you think you should have sole custody and make all the decisions regarding Hailey? You don't even know what you want to do with your life and you think you can be in charge of hers? I'm so furious with you right now. I don't regret being kind to you or trying to help you when you needed it, we did what was right - what I have to wonder is how you sleep at night being such a total loser and wanting to drag your daughter down with you.

What it boils down to is this... I don't care what happens to you from this point on. Hailey and Matt are my concern, not you. I'm done being polite, I'm done trying to get along with you, I'm just done. Good bye.

This and That for November!

	Reverently, Quietly .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Isn't this a great shirt? I want it! My old prednisone shirt is looking a little worn!

I love this picture of Hailey - When I see it I think of the Primary Song "Reverently, Quietly" (which you should be able to hear when you click on the green button in the above song bar), but I have to confess that she folds her arms when she's ticked off and I just happened to catch her with her eyes closed! There was nothing reverent or quiet about this picture!

Steve is off on another killing spree... Don't worry, only Bambi and her mama are in danger! I hate this week of the year, absolutely hate it! I don't particularly care for deer meat and I don't know why he goes if we're not going to eat the meat. He hasn't actually shot a deer for years now anyway - probably just an excuse to go away and play with the boys for a week or so. Wish I could find a good excuse to do the same!

As usual, with Steve gone, one of the dogs have to have a health problem. Ruger got up this morning and wouldn't eat his breakfast. I called the vet, because of his Cushings I tend to take his health a little more seriously than I do the others. Dr. Jesske called back about 4:30 to see how he was doing. I still hadn't been able to coax him to eat or drink anything. I even tried putting his bowl of food on the table by the chair, because he loves to eat anything that might be left on that table for say... 2 seconds! Still, he hadn't touched it. Dr. J said to bring him on in for a couple injections of fluid since he hadn't been drinking, and a steroid shot. He asked when Ruger had his last Lysodren pill and I really don't know if Steve remembered to give it to him on Wednesday or not, so he said we'll just hold it until Ruger is past this crisis. Tomorrow he has to go back in for blood work. I noticed his tummy is becoming a little bare again and his hair is falling out by the handful - might be time to adjust his meds again. Poor sweetie. He always looks so worried! His eyebrows have turned white in the past couple months, which gives him a perpetual Eeyore look.

Hailey was here this week - so it was a good week. She has grown another tooth - that makes 5! So she now has 3 on the top and 2 on the bottom. This week she perfected her walking backward skill and is holding her hands over her head and twirling around so she can dance more with The Wiggles now! I can't wait for Christmas and watch her with the DVD we got her that has some of her favorite songs on it. The one we watch now is good, but not so much familiar stuff on it. She just LOVES The Wiggles!

The excitement of the first snow is over! We had a couple inches last night. I didn't mind the snow as much as hearing branches fall on the roof because the snow was so wet and heavy. Of course the dogs are on high alert because Daddy is gone, so every little sound makes them very nervous. Consequently, they barked until almost midnight at every bump and creak, which of course creeped me out and made me nervous. It was a vicious circle! By 4:30 when I took Ruger to the vet, the streets were all just dry with wet spots from the melting snow (which will turn to ice tonight, with an expected low of 29). There's still snow on the grass in most places, but it's all fallen out of the trees and walking wasn't too bad. As I was watching it fall last night I kept wondering who was going to shovel the driveway and sidewalks today. I knew I sure wasn't. I have no idea how to use the snow blower, and I don't even know if it has gas in it yet! We were expecting 3-6", and I thought it might be a problem, but it wasn't. Whew. Dodged that bullet!

Still dealing with Missy's lack of comprehension where the English language is concerned. Mel needed to work a lot of OT this weekend, but Missy had a headache. She went to Ray's yesterday at 4 p.m. and Mel told her she really needed to get back to work last night and today to get the OT in. Of course Ray's truck has bad tires (oh yea...) and she couldn't make it home until noon today. I might have more sympathy for Missy if she didn't get headaches whenever someone expected her to do something, or if she got the shot, then came home instead of spending the night with her man du jour. All I'm concerned with is dad, but if you try to say anything to her, she takes it as a personal attack.

Looks like they're going to have to lock up the medicine at home. (I hope they can find a lockbox big enough to hold Missy's stash.) Friday Missy was going to give dad his noon meds when she discovered that all of Friday's pills were gone. She called Mel to see if she should give him more. (I'm not even going there...) I called Dr. Green to check on the status of all the paperwork she has, and the nurse called me back because she was concerned about possible interactions with the medications if they were taken all at once. He didn't have to go in, but we had a good discussion about safety measures for dad at home. Mel said he's been up late at night and she heard him on the phone with Pam one night about 2:30. I'm wondering about Sundowners. He came downstairs one night at 10 p.m. to take his 3 p.m. medications because he thought it was afternoon... We're afraid that he might fall down the stairs while he's wandering. He won't use the walker that we borrowed from Bob and Carole. I told Mel we're just going to have to follow him around with the walker. Every time he goes into the living room, put the walker right next to him. If he goes into the dining room, but the walker next to him. Constantly remind him that he has to use it. He has a lot of pain in his knees, especially since his last round of falls. I'm worried about the multi-level house too. Lots of things to worry about. We need to try to get Missy to understand that he simply CANNOT be left alone. Mel has told her this time and time again, yet she'll leave him at home while she runs errands. It'll only take seconds to fall, and we all know Missy's "errands" can last for hours.

One good thing is the VA had sent dad a list of Adult Daycares that he would be able to use. (I hate that term - adult daycare...) Anyway, one on the list was Sarah Care on 132nd and Maple. Mel did a tour last week and it sounded great. Dad is qualified for the VA to pay for 2 days per week until March 2011 - that's good news! Now, when Missy doesn't show up after a night out, Mel can just take dad there and he'll be taken care of. That's a BIG relief - too bad he doesn't qualify for more days - but we'll be happy with what we get.

Hailey goes back to the doctor this week on Thursday to see if her leg had been fractured. She's been getting around on it this week with no problems, so I don't know what to think. Well, I know what to think, but I'm not saying! We'll see what the doctor thinks!

Pictures anyone?

Hailey being tickled by Aunt Momo!

Does this hat make my head look big? No, really!!!

Hailey with the messy chin - that's her secret code name.

Hailey, her lamb and her nana. What more could a girl ask for?

Hailey teaching daddy how to read. And below she enjoys just reading to herself. Love my baby's baby!