It's times like this when I know that Steve doesn't know or understand how I feel, physically or emotionally. I cannot handle being home alone with six dogs. I love my dogs to death, they are an extension of me and they're the only ones who are there for me when I really feel like crap. However, when I feel like crap, I cannot take care of all 6 of them. And not only does Steve HAVE to go deer hunting, he has to go for five days - he's gone for 2 days before the season even opens! What the hell? Friday morning I got up, went to the bathroom and came back to bed to find that Cookie had peed in the bed. And in all her littleness, she didn't miss a thing but the pillows! So I had to strip the bed, carry everything downstairs, wash, dry, and remake the bed. It's time like that, that I really miss my little trailer. Everything was on one floor. Here I can stay on the main floor, but the washer and dryer are still downstairs and I can't carry a full laundry basket upstairs anymore. It's easy to shove stuff DOWN, but it's another matter altogether to get it back UP.
I had a good day today, I really did. Went to Goodwill and found a pair of jeans and then I went to Wal-Mart and got dad some Husker pajama pants and a Husker ball cap (he never wears a ball cap, but he told me today he wanted one...) for his birthday, and a card. Matt was going to bring Hails over today, but but she had a bad case of vomiting at Bagel Bin, so they decided to stay home. I asked Matt if I could stop by there, so I got her a couple sticker books and a color books, and I stopped by there. She was so happy to see me and I was thrilled to see her too! We visited for a little bit - we played with her sticker book and she colored a bit, and then we read some books. She has a harmonica and she was so cute playing with that! She blow a note and then she'd laugh and giggle, play another note, laugh and giggle, I wish I would have had my iPod with me, or my camera that does videos, she was so damn cute! Magann said Hailey was going to be over during the week, so they'd try to stop over. I hope so. It's been a month since I saw her and I can't believe how much she's changed! You could understand her before, but she still talked a lot of baby talk that you kind of had to figure out what was going on... Now she talks and talks and talks, and only rarely is hard to understand. She wanted to call Stephen on the phone, but he wasn't home. She loves to talk to him. We talked about everybody in Stephen's family and how much she loves baby Kaylee... She's growing up SO fast... She told me about her hayrack ride at the pumpkin patch, and the bee on her apple at the orchard. It's hard to believe she's only 2!
Anyway, by the time I got hom I was hurting pretty bad. Like, I actually called Meg to see if she could come feed the dogs bad. She was busy tonight, Jason had a show at Northwest, I think she said, so that was out. Mom was going out to dinner with Sue and Smitty, so that was out. I may or may not have dropped a few F bombs, and took a pain pill and crawled into bed. The dogs just had to wait. They weren't happy, but I just couldn't do it. Tomorrow Mel, Meg, and I are going to Grand Island for dad's birthday, and then, FINALLY, on Monday Steve will be home. I swear to God, this is the LAST freaking year I'm going to stay here by myself. We'll see how I am by Monday. Steve did call tonight - we had a lousy connection (how ironic is that?). Brett got a big buck today, only 3 points, but Steve said it must weight about 250 pounds, bigger than anyone (from their group) has ever gotten. Cool. Wish Steve had gotten a couple so he could just come home. As if...
I went to see Dr. S on Friday. We had a little chat about whether or not this stuff that I've noticed lately is due to MCTD or fibro... He noticed that he hadn't had an ANA or any other rheumatological blood tests done since Dr. Klein had done them last, so we got those. I like Dr. S, I really do, but I felt again like I used to feel when I first got sick. Nothing we can do about the possible esophageal problems because they aren't constant. He can order the tests, but if I'm not having the problem every day, so the tests really wouldn't show anything. sigh... We'll see what the blood work shows. The last ANA was negative, but that was the first negative one in quite some time, so we'll see how things stand now. I'm going to stay on the Savella until the end of December, if I haven't noticed some relief by then, he'll taper me off that. I kind of think to myself that if I'm not getting relief from a fibro drug, doesn't that make sense that maybe it's not fibro pain? He did change my hydrocodone to the 10/325, so I can take 2 at a time if I need to without going over my Tylenol limit for the day. That's some good news I guess. Save a little bit of my liver anyway. Ha ha ha... Small joke. That's about it, I guess, until I get those results. Happy Veteran's Day to all my friends and family who are vets - even if they don't read my rambling... I'm so proud of you and all you did to keep us free.
Showing posts with label MCTD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MCTD. Show all posts
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y!
Gun show in Grand Island today, so Steve and I met Tom and Dave at Chances 'R for breakfast and then Steve dropped me off to visit with dad while he went to the gun show. We had a good visit. I had lunch with him and we watched the Nebraska game for awhile until Steve came back. He kind of got scolded from the nurses for letting his friend from 2nd floor, Harold, have cigarettes. Harold isn't supposed to be smoking and if dad gets caught giving him smokes, dad will lose his right to smoke. Apparently, he's been told that several times, but he forgets. His memory has really gotten a lot worse in the last month. Last weekend he asked Mel twice who Sarah was. Today I took the photo album I made for him and there was a picture of Amber, AJ, and Tony all together and dad asked me if they were "two brothers and a sister". I told him yes, they were Missy's kids and he seemed kind of surprised. I'm a little worried about how quickly he seems to be forgetting things. He has a followup visit with the doctor at the clinic on Monday, his 30-day checkup, so I'm going to call and leave a message with her.
Dad also has a wild idea about flying home from Grand Island for Thanksgiving. He doesn't like the long car ride. She wanted me to get online last night and check and I totally forgot, so I was going to do it while I was with him this afternoon, but there was someone on the computer for his unit, so I had to do it when I got home tonight. I used Priceline.com to look for the cheapest fare for Thanksgiving weekend. Ha ha ha... It costs $956!!! The I noticed there was one stop. I was trying to figure out where a plane was going to have a stop between GI and Omaha. Surely they can't even gain enough altitude between take offs and landings... Then I saw the stop over was in DALLAS, TEXAS!!! Can you imagine, Grand Island to Dallas to Omaha. How stupid is that? Plus the flight departs from GI at 2:55 p.m. and lands in Omaha at 8:15 p.m. And dad thought the drive to Omaha was long! And I'm sure I'd trust him alone in the Dallas airport. Not.
I talked to Mel tonight so I could finally get dad's checking account figured out after the money Mel and I spent for him last weekend. Missy is on a tear again about how I owe him $40 for that damn Nebraska flag... She can take it and stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I was especially ticked off when dad had about $100 less than I thought - because his burial insurance premium had been taken out of his checking account and - get this, Missy hasn't put any money in the account. She goes around telling everyone she pays for dad's burial insurance because she supposedly puts the money in his account every month, but she must have forgotten last month. Probably too worried about the $40 that I supposedly owe him for a flag I don't want. I wonder if she's ever put any money in his account... Mel was saying Missy probably wouldn't have the money this month either, since the cell phone bill is over $600 because they went over their minutes last month. Of course, Mel had told her they were running low on minutes and only use the phone when it was necessary over a week ago, which meant nothing to Missy, Pretty sure she's been on the phone nearly every waking minute since then. I don't know what it is that makes her absolutely incapable of understanding ANYTHING that anybody tells her.
For two freaking years we have tried and tried, and tried some more to get her to act like a responsible adult. Mel and Jeremy asked her time and time again to please be home every other weekend so Mel could have a weekend off. She agrees, but never followed through. Even after they asked her, Mel and I talked to her one evening and I told her she really needed to stay home every other weekend so Mel and Jeremy could take some time to go fishing or something. Oh absolutely, she totally agreed that was fair, and she still never stayed home - took off on Friday and if they were lucky she came back Sunday night. She was sitting right next to dad when he drank the anti-freeze, I told her when he came home that she had to get up and WATCH him during the day. I explained that he was like a little kid, you couldn't leave him unattended. Oh yeah, she understood, no problem. I don't think she ever woke up before 12:30 or 1 in the afternoon. Dad called Jimmy John's to have them deliver a sandwich for his lunch because she was always sleeping. Never mind that he needed a shot of insulin before lunch. He just went without. God forbid she miss some sleep! She also would take him down to Boyd and Charlie's and drop him off so he could eat. Once, he tried walking home because nobody saw him leave - they were supposed to call Missy when he was done, so she could come get him. What the hell? I think she has some kind of brain damage from all the crap she takes or something. Either that or she's mentally challenged. What kind of idiot drops off and elderly person with memory problems and then depends on the staff at the restaurant to watch that person?
Every single time she talks to dad, she brings up the fact that I haven't paid for the flag. She doesn't know where the money is going... She thinks I'm taking money... To hell with her. I've finally realized the reason she's so worried that I'm taking money from dad is because she stole money from grandma. She thinks e'veryone is like her, no morals, no problem. Surely if she's a thief, then everyone is a thief. I can't wait until Mel can move out and we can give the mortgage company the keys and I can be done with that stupid jackass. I have been fastidiously keeping receipts and keeping every detail about the checking account and then I have to deal with her crap. She called last week and wanted me to call her, I'm not going to call her. I'm not going to talk to her ever, if I can help it.
Last weekend when dad was home for AJ's wedding, she was just rude and snotty to him every chance she got and she was pissed off because she had to get him ready for the wedding. Welcome to responsibility, idiot. Then she asked Wendy to sit at the family table and leaves dad to sit with us when obviously he should have been sitting there with them and not that stupid bitch. Dad was really hurt and that's why he wanted to leave before the toasts were made or the cake was cut. Did she think about that? Hell no, not Miss Inconsiderate. As long as she had her friends sitting with her is all she cared about. I'm just sick of her beyond words, and I'm sick of her manipulating dad every time she doesn't get her way. Idiot. I'm so tired of her selfish, sorry ass. There, now I feel better! Ha ha ha... You know what I hate worse? That she gets to me like this. I wish I could just blow her off, but it's maddening for some idiot to accuse you of things that you aren't doing - oh, and then to say to my face last week, "I would never accuse you of taking money from dad". Oh my God, I just want to vomit.
Other than that cross to bear, things have been going well. I think I'm going to make an appointment to see Dr. Wildy again. I do think I need I rheumatologist and I don't know where else to go. I'd like to get back into aquatic therapy, that would be great. I'd love to be able to go back to Immanuel's fitness center, but I think unless I get a part-time job, that's out of the question. I'll have to just settle for therapy, so the insurance will pay for it. I wonder if aquatic therapy even helps with MCTD, if that's what this is... Frustration isn't good for the fibro part of this, if tonight is any indication.
Steve shampooed the office and the hallway tonight. I'd love to be able to put new carpet in those rooms. I'm already thinking that Hailey's room is going to have to be used for dad - when he comes home for the weekends. I don't think he's realized that he won't be able to stay at his house when nobody is living there. Plus, when he's home, Mel has to be working and God knows Missy is worthless in that regard, so he'll be here and everything is on all one level. Which reminds me, Mel fell down the stairs at the house today - complete with a cup of hot coffee. She pulled her shoulder pretty good, so hopefully she didn't tear her rotator cuff or anything. Already wondering what we're going to do about her recovering from surgery in December. Oy....
Hope the rest of the weekend is good for everyone else!!!
Dad also has a wild idea about flying home from Grand Island for Thanksgiving. He doesn't like the long car ride. She wanted me to get online last night and check and I totally forgot, so I was going to do it while I was with him this afternoon, but there was someone on the computer for his unit, so I had to do it when I got home tonight. I used Priceline.com to look for the cheapest fare for Thanksgiving weekend. Ha ha ha... It costs $956!!! The I noticed there was one stop. I was trying to figure out where a plane was going to have a stop between GI and Omaha. Surely they can't even gain enough altitude between take offs and landings... Then I saw the stop over was in DALLAS, TEXAS!!! Can you imagine, Grand Island to Dallas to Omaha. How stupid is that? Plus the flight departs from GI at 2:55 p.m. and lands in Omaha at 8:15 p.m. And dad thought the drive to Omaha was long! And I'm sure I'd trust him alone in the Dallas airport. Not.
I talked to Mel tonight so I could finally get dad's checking account figured out after the money Mel and I spent for him last weekend. Missy is on a tear again about how I owe him $40 for that damn Nebraska flag... She can take it and stick it where the sun doesn't shine. I was especially ticked off when dad had about $100 less than I thought - because his burial insurance premium had been taken out of his checking account and - get this, Missy hasn't put any money in the account. She goes around telling everyone she pays for dad's burial insurance because she supposedly puts the money in his account every month, but she must have forgotten last month. Probably too worried about the $40 that I supposedly owe him for a flag I don't want. I wonder if she's ever put any money in his account... Mel was saying Missy probably wouldn't have the money this month either, since the cell phone bill is over $600 because they went over their minutes last month. Of course, Mel had told her they were running low on minutes and only use the phone when it was necessary over a week ago, which meant nothing to Missy, Pretty sure she's been on the phone nearly every waking minute since then. I don't know what it is that makes her absolutely incapable of understanding ANYTHING that anybody tells her.
For two freaking years we have tried and tried, and tried some more to get her to act like a responsible adult. Mel and Jeremy asked her time and time again to please be home every other weekend so Mel could have a weekend off. She agrees, but never followed through. Even after they asked her, Mel and I talked to her one evening and I told her she really needed to stay home every other weekend so Mel and Jeremy could take some time to go fishing or something. Oh absolutely, she totally agreed that was fair, and she still never stayed home - took off on Friday and if they were lucky she came back Sunday night. She was sitting right next to dad when he drank the anti-freeze, I told her when he came home that she had to get up and WATCH him during the day. I explained that he was like a little kid, you couldn't leave him unattended. Oh yeah, she understood, no problem. I don't think she ever woke up before 12:30 or 1 in the afternoon. Dad called Jimmy John's to have them deliver a sandwich for his lunch because she was always sleeping. Never mind that he needed a shot of insulin before lunch. He just went without. God forbid she miss some sleep! She also would take him down to Boyd and Charlie's and drop him off so he could eat. Once, he tried walking home because nobody saw him leave - they were supposed to call Missy when he was done, so she could come get him. What the hell? I think she has some kind of brain damage from all the crap she takes or something. Either that or she's mentally challenged. What kind of idiot drops off and elderly person with memory problems and then depends on the staff at the restaurant to watch that person?
Every single time she talks to dad, she brings up the fact that I haven't paid for the flag. She doesn't know where the money is going... She thinks I'm taking money... To hell with her. I've finally realized the reason she's so worried that I'm taking money from dad is because she stole money from grandma. She thinks e'veryone is like her, no morals, no problem. Surely if she's a thief, then everyone is a thief. I can't wait until Mel can move out and we can give the mortgage company the keys and I can be done with that stupid jackass. I have been fastidiously keeping receipts and keeping every detail about the checking account and then I have to deal with her crap. She called last week and wanted me to call her, I'm not going to call her. I'm not going to talk to her ever, if I can help it.
Last weekend when dad was home for AJ's wedding, she was just rude and snotty to him every chance she got and she was pissed off because she had to get him ready for the wedding. Welcome to responsibility, idiot. Then she asked Wendy to sit at the family table and leaves dad to sit with us when obviously he should have been sitting there with them and not that stupid bitch. Dad was really hurt and that's why he wanted to leave before the toasts were made or the cake was cut. Did she think about that? Hell no, not Miss Inconsiderate. As long as she had her friends sitting with her is all she cared about. I'm just sick of her beyond words, and I'm sick of her manipulating dad every time she doesn't get her way. Idiot. I'm so tired of her selfish, sorry ass. There, now I feel better! Ha ha ha... You know what I hate worse? That she gets to me like this. I wish I could just blow her off, but it's maddening for some idiot to accuse you of things that you aren't doing - oh, and then to say to my face last week, "I would never accuse you of taking money from dad". Oh my God, I just want to vomit.
Other than that cross to bear, things have been going well. I think I'm going to make an appointment to see Dr. Wildy again. I do think I need I rheumatologist and I don't know where else to go. I'd like to get back into aquatic therapy, that would be great. I'd love to be able to go back to Immanuel's fitness center, but I think unless I get a part-time job, that's out of the question. I'll have to just settle for therapy, so the insurance will pay for it. I wonder if aquatic therapy even helps with MCTD, if that's what this is... Frustration isn't good for the fibro part of this, if tonight is any indication.
Steve shampooed the office and the hallway tonight. I'd love to be able to put new carpet in those rooms. I'm already thinking that Hailey's room is going to have to be used for dad - when he comes home for the weekends. I don't think he's realized that he won't be able to stay at his house when nobody is living there. Plus, when he's home, Mel has to be working and God knows Missy is worthless in that regard, so he'll be here and everything is on all one level. Which reminds me, Mel fell down the stairs at the house today - complete with a cup of hot coffee. She pulled her shoulder pretty good, so hopefully she didn't tear her rotator cuff or anything. Already wondering what we're going to do about her recovering from surgery in December. Oy....
Hope the rest of the weekend is good for everyone else!!!
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