Dad got his phone back last night, and pulled another today took his Lantus 5 hours early, sneaking it from Missy because he said he was depressed. Sigh. What was this? Another suicide gesture? An attention grabbing stunt for Pam because he got his phone back yesterday? Before I go on, I have to say I don't think I could handle dad's antics. I know how difficult it is for Mel, no, I don't think I could do a better job... Well, the point is, I CAN'T do a better job, no matter what I think. Okay, let me go back to the beginning...
Mel called me when she got home from work tonight to tell me that dad and Missy had been outside having a cigarette and dad went in before Missy. When she got done with her cigarette, he was standing next to the refrigerator trying to hide his insulin syringe. She asked him what he was doing and he said he had just taken his insulin. She asked him why - apparently, it hasn't gotten through to her that dad doesn't know why he does things - he has no impulse control, which is why I guess thinking he was going to "learn" anything from taking away his phone was pretty stupid on our part. How stupid were we? So, to make a long story short, within 45 minutes Mel was hysterically crying and yelling at dad and God only knows what Missy was doing. I called the 24-hour Nurse line at VA to see if taking this dose of insulin was going to cause any problems for him, but the nurse I talked to said she was more worried about dad's mental health. I called Mel back and asked if she thought dad needed to go to the hospital. Yes, she did, so I called Cindy back and she did some triaging to get dad admitted to the VA through the ER. I called Mel back to let her know. Again more screaming and yelling with dad going on in the background, she said he wouldn't go and refused to get in the car. Fuck. I told her I'd call 911. Pardon me while I laugh at the notion the police were going to be of any help to us...
The squad came and then the police came and the officers told Mel there was nothing they could do. Who cares if this was possibly a third suicide attempt in a little over a year, the second one in a month? He didn't want to go, he didn't have to go. Great. The female officer finally kept talking with dad long enough to think he was a danger to himself and she said they would transport him to the VA - since that's who I had talked to. Stupid me. The male officer refused to EPC dad, but finally agreed to take him in and EPC him. Big FAT LIAR.
I got a call from the M3 about 8:30, since dad is so healthy and we had him taken to the ER, and there was NO EPC hold on him, they were thinking of releasing him to the family. Oh hell no. I talked to her for almost half an hour trying to explain the things that are going on with dad. She said she'd talk to her attending and then call me back. Well, she never called me back, but dad called a little after midnight, telling me he had been admitted and was "probably" going to be able to come home tomorrow afternoon. Great.
In the meantime, I had talked to Mel who told me she's going to ask Marc for the money to move out because she can't do this anymore. Which I would understand, except she and dad had a great weekend and everything was great. Sometimes I feel like someone in the Exorcist, my head must be spinning between is she going to go, or is she going to stay? It changes daily, sometimes hourly, I swear. I understand it's a struggle, but when one day she says she'd never leave until dad gets into a nursing home and the next day she says she's not staying, what the HELL am I supposed to believe? What exactly am I supposed to depend on, is she going to be there to help or not? Missy had called her and said, "I guess I need to keep a closer eye on dad". Well, no shit, Sherlock! What gave you your first clue? Maybe the conversation we had 2 weeks ago when I said she had to stop sleeping until noon and really WATCH dad and keep an eye on him because you can't trust him for five minutes by himself. Of course the days she managed to be there last week, she slept until noon almost every day and left dad on his own while she slept. Or let him to to Boyd and Charlie's for dinner and left her number for them to call when he was done eating and found him trying to walk home? Would you let a 4-year-old child spend an evening alone in a diner to take care of himself and have the wait staff call you when he's done?
And the freaking cop that wouldn't EPC dad... Grrrrrr. I tried to call the assembly about 4 times tonight and got no answer, even when it should have been shift change. I'll call again tomorrow. I'm so stressed all I want to do is cry - which gets me nowhere since Steve could give a shit less about the entire thing. I know I'm going to be paying for this bullshit for days. And to top it all off... Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. Does it get any better? So, I'm sad, mad, hurt, lonely, irritated and stupefied by all this crap.
Mel told me after all this happened, she went upstairs and Missy was curling her hair so she could go to Tony's birthday party. Glad this whole thing affected her so much. Where is that girl's BRAIN? Is anyone even sure she freaking has one??'
And I went off on Mel too, about how it would be nice if that skanky bitch that dad used to be married to (namely our beloved mother) would give up on the money she's still getting from him. Dad NEEDS it, and the only reason she wants it is because every month she can again feel like she's screwing dad over again. Selfish bitch. Times like this piss me off at her even more than the Queen of Bitches usually does. She's so full of unhelpful advice I can't stand it. Give back the money or shut the fuck up, mother dear. You're beginning to annoy the hell out of me.
Must sleep.
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