Meltdown

I had a meltdown tonight. I have to say, I love my mother-in-law and father-in-law SO much. They are so supportive of me. Never had that growing up, so it's kind of nice to realize at the tender age of 53 that sometimes I am okay, and it's okay to have my feelings. Just to listen and not try to dictate to me - wow, what a concept!

I feel better about things tonight, although I found out today that Pam actually had counter-sued dad for divorce. Last year. Yeah, on March 29, 2010, she filed her counter suit or whatever the legal jargon is for it. His lawyer never told us. Hell, she never even replied to Pam's attorney, at least there was nothing in the file to indicate that she did. What a lousy lawyer she is. I have to sit down and make a list of all the crap she did and didn't do so that I can write a semi-coherent letter to the Nebraska Bar. I can't believe she has the nerve to call herself a lawyer. My dogs could have done a better job than she did.

The weather was gray and rainy today, still cold too, so of course I feel like dirt. This gets so old so fast, and believe me, it's been this way for a long, long time.

I'm missing Hailey so much. Seve says, "I miss her, too". Really? I spent 10 days a month with her, at least 8 hours a day for the past 18 months basically, and he spent lunch hours with her and the overnight stays. He has no IDEA how much I miss her. I think that's why I'm feeling a little bit at loose ends right now. Number one, I don't feel good, so I don't feel like doing anything, and; number two, I'm lonesome. Hailey was so much company for me. Even the days when I really, really enjoyed her nap time, I loved spending time with her. She is such a good baby, so happy, and so funny. She always had me laughing and taking pictures and videos... Just miss her smiling face. Matt called tonight and he said she was feeling much better, I'm so glad. When she's sick, she's SICK, so I'm happy she's on the mend. Wonder if she'll have to end up with tubes like her daddy. I'm thinking she might. Of course her mother is too stupid to think of that. I might mention it to Matt so the next time he's at the doctor with her, he can ask and she what the doc thinks.

On top of all the #$%@^ that was clouding my head tonight and making me cry, when I went out I decided to stop at Dairy Queen to pick up some Dilly Bars to take with me to mom and Bob's... I tell you what... I got sooooo mad. The line outside was pretty long, so I decided to go inside to grab a box of DBs. There was one guy in line ahead of me, well dressed younger guy apparently buying some stuff for a business meeting, he had quite a large order - which was fine. There were about 12 people working behind the counter and there was that guy and me, standing there holding my Dilly Bars. I waited about 5 minutes and no one made any attempt to help me, so I just went back to the freezer and put the Dilly Bars back and walked out. The guy apologized for my wait and I told him HE was fine. It was apparent he was spending more money than me, so apparently I wasn't important enough to wait on. Man, I was ticked off! I don't mind waiting, and if there had been a huge crowd in there I wouldn't have been so angry, but when they could see I obviously had a package of ice cream and just needed to pay for them and totally ignore me - that's not okay.

Steve's really been enjoying Echolink. I really didn't even think he'd notice I had gone out, but apparently no one was talking to him. I was a little frustrated when I went out. I was in the bedroom and he was in the hobby room with earphones on and I could hear the music he was listening to, oh no, he doesn't have a hearing problem. Right. If he doesn't now, he will later! Oh well, his ears, not mine.

It was soooo nice to visit with mom and Bob - what will I ever do without them? Turned out to be just what the doctor ordered!