Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Missing My Blessings

Funny as you get older you realize how much the choices you made when you were younger shaped your life.

When I was younger I wanted to marry a member of the church, wanted to get married in the temple, and have a "forever" family. I made a lot of bad choices and didn't reach those goals. I wasn't that much bothered at the time. I thought "We have our whole lives ahead of us, he'll join the church". So far, that hasn't come to pass, and the older I get, the harder it is not to miss the blessings I'm missing out on.

I think about last Friday night when Hailey became ill late in the evening and we ended up having to take her to the emergency room. How wonderful it would have been for Steve to be able to give her a blessing before we went. It would have been even nicer to have her father be able to give her a father's blessing, but that is his choice, not mine. I wish also that she had received a blessing when she was born, but again, that isn't my choice to make.

So, here I sit today with surgery on my schedule tomorrow and I wish again that my husband could give me a blessing. Instead, my home teachers will come over tonight and I'll get a blessing from them. I know it's still a blessing from a member of the priesthood, that it doesn't really "matter" who gives me the blessing - but it matters to me. I'd like the man I'm married to to be able to do those kind of things. To be able to trust the person I married to give me that kind of protection and blessing. It does matter.

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