Friday

It was a long day today - er,  yesterday. I had an appointment with my rheumatologist on Thursday. He agreed that 13 years on Hydroondone was enough and switched my pain meds. I can't say the new one is exactly a roaring success. I woke up this a.m. about 6:30 and couldn't get back to sleep because there was no comfortable way to lie down. Got up and took one of the new pills. It took until almost 8, but I did finally manage to get back to sleep for about an hour. One good thing, my hands were pain free for several hours. It didn't last, but it was nice. 😊

Steve got off at 1:00, summer hours, and went to cut wood at Tom's new house. I worked on genealogy until he got home around 5:30, and then we went to Jason's Deli for dinner. I did cheat a little, took half of a Hydrocodone about noon with no help, so took another Tramadol at 3. Nothing. When Steve got home I was in the midst of one of my cold flashes, so he took a shower before we went out. At about 9 p.m. I took another Hydrocodone and that was it for pain pills today. I can't hardly hold my tablet to write this, my hands are hurting so bad. What to do? He only prescribed one Tramadol twice a day. No way is that going to work. I'm going to try a whole meloxicam instead of a half and see how my stomach handles that. I'll call his office on Monday if things aren't better. I really like this doctor. He LISTENS to me. I hope that doesn't change! I know it has to be hard to have his job, nobody goes to a rheumatologist unless they have to. It must be wah, wah, wah all day.

When Steve and I got home tonight we watched a YouTube video of a lecture at Stanford about depression. It was really interesting. I wondered as I watched it if Steve realized how much of it related to me. Both of my parents have been/were diagnosed with major depression - so was I, years ago. Fibro and depression go hand in hand. You're depressed because of the pain, and the pain gets worse because of the depression. Then you add in the grief I still feel for dad, and Ben, and the other dogs we lost in the year prior to dad's death, and I'm a mess. Then you add in Nell and Carole both being so sick, birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, the memorial service at the police station and the one that I'm now feeling bad for skipping at the nursing home, and I'm shocked I'm functioning at all.

After that, we watched Big Fish, a movie with Ewan McGregor and Albert Finney. That was a mistake. I kept remembering bits and pieces, but I couldn't remember the end. Then came the end, and I realized I hated the movie, that's why I couldn't remember it all, I didn't watch most of it the first time because I didn't like it. The end is SAD. Very sad. I wish I would have remembered that much, so I could have avoided it tonight. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed... it was awful, and Steve, bless his heart is not a great comforter.  I will NEVER watch that dawned movie again!

To top it all off, Steve went out and checked the raspberries tonight and the raspberry bed is overrun with poison ivy. Isn't that lovely? I'm afraid to eat the berries, being so close to the poison ivy. I'm weird about that...

Looks like hopefully we'll see Hailey on Father's Day. That'll be fun! I bet she'll like my tablet.... That all the news that is news... be good to yourself, don't depend on anyone but yoyrself to be responsible for your happiness!!!

Mindi 😂🐼🐧🐪🐯🐷🐒🐵🐜🐌♉♉♉♉