Monday, May 26, 2014

Hell, Or Something Like It

This past week was, without a doubt, the worst week I've ever had in terms of pain - length and severity. In retrospect, it's been a trying couple months and this week was just a culmination of everything.  Yay.

The Law Enforcement Memorial service was held on May 15. Dad's name was read, since he died this past year. That was the straw that broke the camel's back, I think. It wa

I woke up a week ago Saturday with my hands and feet just burning up, my sure sign of a flare. Then my MIL ended up back in the hospital with complications from her gallbladder surgery, and it went downhill from there. It was like riding a roller coaster between pain and feeling okay, but it would just hit in waves which sent me back to bed on and off until Saturday this week. I've never had 6 days of feeling so bad in a row before. Once you get fibro, you never have what used to be a normal day, but this past week was hard to deal with. I made it though. It was held outside, but it was cool and windy. Missy and Tony got there first, so they held places for everyone in the front row. In the sun. Not good - sun exposure had always been my nemesis. The ceremony was very moving. Garry Grand was a speaker, and he mentioned dad by name. That was hard. He was supposed to be our escort up to the memorial to put a rose in the wreath but Me land I decided to just let Missy do it. She loves attention, let her have it. I dislike Garry more than I need attention. Afterward, at the luncheon, she and Garry sat apart from the rest of the family. All her kids were there - they sat with us. We all went to the cemetery to leave the yellow roses we got. It was too cold and windy, plus Sarah had to be at work shortly afterward, so we didn't stay long. Meg and Jason were there for the whole thing, but not Matt or Margaret. It would have been nice if Steve would have gone, but he didn't.  Bob wanted to come, but mom was still in the hospital... at last it was over.

There's a memorial service at the Vet's home tomorrow,  but I'm not going. Garry and Wendy are going. No thanks. I'm done for this year. It's 6 months today (well, actually yesterday, I'm just up late... Six months. I never imagined it would be this difficult. Never.

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