Well, things are, as Mel put it, "FLYING downhill" with dad. He did call his ex to tell her he wasn't going to talk to her, but then started calling her again the very next day. Of course. That's what people with dementia do... Problem is, when he talks to her he gets depressed because she won't come back home, and if he doesn't talk to her he's a pain in the rear to live with. He's rude, sullen, and pouting, refusing to eat or have anything to drink, and speaking to everyone only in monosyllables - basically a 3-year-old brat in a 250-pound 78-year-old body. Very difficult to deal with. I know they probably don't think so, but I do give Mel and Missy a lot of credit for dealing with him. It's beyond frustrating to have to deal with him on a day to day basis, I know I couldn't do it. Part of the problem lies with the fact that we all have difficulty separating the person he has become from "dad". I know I still can't do it. I try reasoning with him, and sometimes he sounds perfectly reasonable, but then 10 minutes later --- "I never said that". Um, okay.
One bit of good news that I did get today was that his Veteran's Service Officer will testify in his behalf in Scottsbluff at the admission hearing for the VA. Whoop! I really wasn't looking forward to driving 8 hours for 2 days in a row - or sleeping on a motel bed. Heaven knows if I would have been coherent enough to even speak in his behalf. I asked Mel to write a letter explaining why Dipstick shouldn't be considered in deciding dad's approval or not. She did a good job and wrote a great letter. I think she's a lot better at those kind of things than I am. I also got a lot of help from Char at the Lincoln Veteran's Administration office in Lincoln yesterday. She was wonderful and answered a lot of my questions - not a typical government employee, if you get my drift. I really appreciated all the help I got from her. I am really happy about that bit of news. Dad's lawyer, Richard, is also going to write a letter in dad's behalf, basically just stating that Dipstick in no way contributes to dad's support, financial, emotional, or in any other way. In other words, she's basically useless - but if you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that.
Mom called me this morning and wanted to take me to lunch before we went over to her church to price more stuff for the garage sale. Who am I to refuse a free lunch? Went to Village Inn and had a free piece of pie for dessert since it's free pie Wednesday - yummy! I should have gotten it to go though. It too the waitress nearly 20 minutes to bring the pie, after asking us 2 times what kind we liked, and she still brought me apple instead of triple berry... By that time I just wanted my darn pie and leave, but the apple was great. Not quite as good as the fresh strawberry I had last week in Fremont, but still very good. I have to laugh at mom: "I wouldn't have gotten ice ceam on it, but they don't serve ice cream here". Me: "Yes, they do". Mom: "No, I'm pretty sure they don't". I had to go get a menu which cldearly showed pie a la mode before she would believe me. Next week, mom, next week!
After we left Village Inn, we hit the Office Depot, I had to get some photo paper for Hailey's scrapbook, and then I found some notebooks that would be good for the cemetery books from all thw pictures I've taken at several cemeteries.
Next we hit Kohl's. Mom had a 20% off coupon - and we can't waste those! We got Hailey some fall outfits that we're going to save for her birthday - cute! Then, off to her church to price some more stuff.
You have to wonder about some of the stuff people donate to the church for garage sales. Somebody brought in a bunch of empty glasses from Kwik Shop and QT to sell. For the love of God people, those things are only 49 cents - full of soda! Who is going to buy cups that you're supposed to throw away? I've seen half full make up bottles, parts of tools that don't have the tool included, dirty, filthy things that definitely should have been washed before they were donated, electric appliances without the cords, a vacuum that has no cord and won't stand upright... The list goes on. Steve wants to donate our old TV. I wish he'd just haul the thing to the dump. I feel like if you're going to donate things, they should be in good working order... Apparently he doesn't agree.
I guess as long as it's out of my basement, I don't care. Okay, well, I do feel a little guilty.
I think that's it. Good night, friends.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Bye-Bye Borders...
We went to Borders today because Steve was looking for a book for Meghan. He had found it on the Bargain Book rack a couple weeks ago for $3.99. Today it was back on the shelf for $26.99. LOL! I think the liquidator has come in to move the stock - we bought 3 Blu-Ray movies, 2 books, and a couple boxes of Junior Mints for $53. Not bad really, but they don't have anymore sacks, so whatever you buy you have to haul out without a bag. Just a hint to take a bag with you! One lady in line had 2 of those red hand baskets full of books and was telling the guy she couldn't carry them all out to her car, so they were scrambling around looking for a box for her. That's kind of crazy.
Also went to Wal-Mart and exchanged that horrible tangerine/lime water for some peach stuff. Yummy! Much better. We tried a couple other flavors too; I had an apple raspberry tonight. Too much raspberry and not enough apple. It smells like apples, but tastes like raspberries. Okay, but not my favorite. I'm wondering if Fontanelle Orchard has peaches yet. I so love fresh peaches and the ones from the store have been horrible - although the Bing cherries have been delicioso! At nearly 3 bucks a pound though, I'm done buying them for the season. I'm broke for another month, longer if all the threats of no social security checks next month come true! I think Obama would be pretty darn stupid to try that crap - old people have tempers too. Nothing like a full scale assault on Washington, D.C., by a bunch of old people in walkers and wheelchairs!
Well, I've taken my meds for tonight and I'm feeling goofy alerady. I want to try to make it to church tomorrow, so I'm giving going to bed early a shot. We'll see how that works out. Good night!
Also went to Wal-Mart and exchanged that horrible tangerine/lime water for some peach stuff. Yummy! Much better. We tried a couple other flavors too; I had an apple raspberry tonight. Too much raspberry and not enough apple. It smells like apples, but tastes like raspberries. Okay, but not my favorite. I'm wondering if Fontanelle Orchard has peaches yet. I so love fresh peaches and the ones from the store have been horrible - although the Bing cherries have been delicioso! At nearly 3 bucks a pound though, I'm done buying them for the season. I'm broke for another month, longer if all the threats of no social security checks next month come true! I think Obama would be pretty darn stupid to try that crap - old people have tempers too. Nothing like a full scale assault on Washington, D.C., by a bunch of old people in walkers and wheelchairs!
Well, I've taken my meds for tonight and I'm feeling goofy alerady. I want to try to make it to church tomorrow, so I'm giving going to bed early a shot. We'll see how that works out. Good night!
The 22-Year Itch, or Why I Wish I Had Stayed Single
It's hot - and humid, and I'm tired and cranky. Or maybe fed up would be the better word. I think I'd be a lot happier sometimes if my life was a place of my own and my dogs. Sometimes being married is almost not worth the effort. Who am I kidding, it's not worth the effort.
Tonight we went over to be with dad while Mel went to see Jason Aldean. Yes, I know I was just bitching about my sisters recently, but you know, we have to work together to get dad taken care of and in a safe place. Once that's done, I'll decide whether I want to deal with everybody else or be a hermit. I know how much Mel wanted to see the concert and when her friend got her tickets I felt like it wouldn't be such a big deal to go spend some time with dad. We didn't have any big plan tonight, other than to go to Borders, which means I watch Steve read magazines while I try to look interested in something interesting to keep my interest. Luckily Borders is closing, so I won't have to worry about that anymore - although it's really about the only thing we do together anymore.
After we stopped at Arby's for dinner (Steve's favorite restaurant and my least favorite), we headed on over to dad's. First thing I said to Steve when went into the house was to leave the chair by the windows for dad because that's the only chair dad can get in and out of - so he immediately went over and sat in the chair. Maybe I just imagined I said it...
Almost the first thing out of dad's mouth was, "How about we go for a ride over to about 158th & Dodge?" What a coincidence, Pam lives over in that neighborhood! "Why?" "I have to give someone a bathing suit." "No, dad, we're not going to Pam's so you can drop off a bathing suit." Keep in mind she left a year ago last March - a whole swimming season has come and is nearly gone and she's just now missing her bathing suit? "I'm just going to toss it up on her balcony." "No." "I"m not going to talk to her." "No." "We can go out for ice cream afterwards." "Why don't we just go out for ice cream and forget the bathing suit?" No answer. I won that round.
Twenty minutes later we're watching dad's favorite channel (ID - Investigation Discovery), when he says, "Missy had Marc shut my phone off". "Dad we talked about this for 3 hours yesterday, I'm not going to talk about it anymore." "I want a phone." "You don't need a phone." "Do you have your phone with you?" "No." I lied, so I had to reach in my purse and look for something while I surruptitiously shut the thing off. Thankfully that did end the conversation about phones and Pam. Even with dementia you'd think he'd know better than to ask me to take him anywhere within a mile of that Devil's Spawn. So, we watched some show about the Ten Deadliest Women (horrific show BTW), and he settled in pretty much for the rest of the evening. He really was in a good mood, and about 9:30 or so, Steve got out of his chair and went to the dining room to sit at the table and read. I really wasn't having a bad time at all, as a matter of fact, I nearly finished Laura Ingraham's book "To Thee I Zing" - good book, and several parts had me laughing out loud. Good book! Mel and Sarah got home about 11:40, and before I could even ask how the concert was and look at their pictures, Steve was standing at the front door, hat already on his head, waiting to leave. God forbid we engage in some social politeness. He would have a fit if I treated his family like that - lucky for him, I have more manners, and I genuinely love my in-laws.
I don't think we really needed the air conditioning on the ride home. I said at one point, "I know you're mad, but thank you for coming with me and being supportive", I didn't at the "for once" that nearly slipped through my mouth though. Of course he didn't answer. That is the one thing that absolutely infuriates me - that, or giving me the Vulcan Death Stare. Luckily, neither of us are Vulcans, so I'm not dead yet. Totally ignoring me is also another way to tell me later that I never said anything, as in "I never heard you say that" so I must be nuts, right? Some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice. I don't even care if it wouldn't have been something along the lines of "I'm never going out there again", would be better than being ignored. The chill lasted all the way home, even after I commented that maybe I should put blue neon lights under my car so it would glow blue at night - I really thought that would get something... As soon as he let the dogs out and back in, he bolted for his Man Cave, even though it was 12:30. I love my life. Not so sure about this relationship thing though. Is total disinterest and no respect grounds for divorce? Thank God for India at this point, at least somebody listens to me - poor girl.
Yesterday dad spent the afternoon with me and we stopped at Wal-Mart for peach water. I picked up 12 bottles of tangerine/lime water instead of peach. Nasty stuff, I thought they were trying to poison me until I finally read the label. I intended to take it back today, but it was too freaking hot and I was up until after 2:30 with achy legs. Now, I wish I had taken them back... I'd like a peach water and hydrocodone please - and Calgon. Yes, Calgon would be good too...
Looking forward to this weekend. Matt has Hailey, so we'll get to see her. The week and a half she's with her mom seem to get longer and longer all the time. She changes so much from one visit to the next. Pardon the whine, but I still really miss having her with me every day. They are supposed to go to court in September. He got a letter from his lawyer on July 11, telling him that going to trial would cost between x and x amount of dollars and he (the lawyer) required 10% of the highest amount before trial. So, Matt assumed (you know what they say about assuming anything - especially where the law is concerned) that he would have until September to get the money. Oh hell no, the lawyer's secretary called him on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday) telling him they needed the money by August 1. Wow, how considerate.
Uh oh, Mr. Happy is coming to bed, better get ready to hit the hay - or wait, maybe he's just raiding the fridge...
Long story short - Matt got the money, thanks to his friend Joe, Mom, and myself. Of course Steve opted out of the "save Hailey" program. "I feel sorry for him, but..." Yeah, so much for how much he loves Hailey. About as much as he loves me, apparently.
Tonight we went over to be with dad while Mel went to see Jason Aldean. Yes, I know I was just bitching about my sisters recently, but you know, we have to work together to get dad taken care of and in a safe place. Once that's done, I'll decide whether I want to deal with everybody else or be a hermit. I know how much Mel wanted to see the concert and when her friend got her tickets I felt like it wouldn't be such a big deal to go spend some time with dad. We didn't have any big plan tonight, other than to go to Borders, which means I watch Steve read magazines while I try to look interested in something interesting to keep my interest. Luckily Borders is closing, so I won't have to worry about that anymore - although it's really about the only thing we do together anymore.
After we stopped at Arby's for dinner (Steve's favorite restaurant and my least favorite), we headed on over to dad's. First thing I said to Steve when went into the house was to leave the chair by the windows for dad because that's the only chair dad can get in and out of - so he immediately went over and sat in the chair. Maybe I just imagined I said it...
Almost the first thing out of dad's mouth was, "How about we go for a ride over to about 158th & Dodge?" What a coincidence, Pam lives over in that neighborhood! "Why?" "I have to give someone a bathing suit." "No, dad, we're not going to Pam's so you can drop off a bathing suit." Keep in mind she left a year ago last March - a whole swimming season has come and is nearly gone and she's just now missing her bathing suit? "I'm just going to toss it up on her balcony." "No." "I"m not going to talk to her." "No." "We can go out for ice cream afterwards." "Why don't we just go out for ice cream and forget the bathing suit?" No answer. I won that round.
Twenty minutes later we're watching dad's favorite channel (ID - Investigation Discovery), when he says, "Missy had Marc shut my phone off". "Dad we talked about this for 3 hours yesterday, I'm not going to talk about it anymore." "I want a phone." "You don't need a phone." "Do you have your phone with you?" "No." I lied, so I had to reach in my purse and look for something while I surruptitiously shut the thing off. Thankfully that did end the conversation about phones and Pam. Even with dementia you'd think he'd know better than to ask me to take him anywhere within a mile of that Devil's Spawn. So, we watched some show about the Ten Deadliest Women (horrific show BTW), and he settled in pretty much for the rest of the evening. He really was in a good mood, and about 9:30 or so, Steve got out of his chair and went to the dining room to sit at the table and read. I really wasn't having a bad time at all, as a matter of fact, I nearly finished Laura Ingraham's book "To Thee I Zing" - good book, and several parts had me laughing out loud. Good book! Mel and Sarah got home about 11:40, and before I could even ask how the concert was and look at their pictures, Steve was standing at the front door, hat already on his head, waiting to leave. God forbid we engage in some social politeness. He would have a fit if I treated his family like that - lucky for him, I have more manners, and I genuinely love my in-laws.
I don't think we really needed the air conditioning on the ride home. I said at one point, "I know you're mad, but thank you for coming with me and being supportive", I didn't at the "for once" that nearly slipped through my mouth though. Of course he didn't answer. That is the one thing that absolutely infuriates me - that, or giving me the Vulcan Death Stare. Luckily, neither of us are Vulcans, so I'm not dead yet. Totally ignoring me is also another way to tell me later that I never said anything, as in "I never heard you say that" so I must be nuts, right? Some kind of acknowledgement would have been nice. I don't even care if it wouldn't have been something along the lines of "I'm never going out there again", would be better than being ignored. The chill lasted all the way home, even after I commented that maybe I should put blue neon lights under my car so it would glow blue at night - I really thought that would get something... As soon as he let the dogs out and back in, he bolted for his Man Cave, even though it was 12:30. I love my life. Not so sure about this relationship thing though. Is total disinterest and no respect grounds for divorce? Thank God for India at this point, at least somebody listens to me - poor girl.
Yesterday dad spent the afternoon with me and we stopped at Wal-Mart for peach water. I picked up 12 bottles of tangerine/lime water instead of peach. Nasty stuff, I thought they were trying to poison me until I finally read the label. I intended to take it back today, but it was too freaking hot and I was up until after 2:30 with achy legs. Now, I wish I had taken them back... I'd like a peach water and hydrocodone please - and Calgon. Yes, Calgon would be good too...
Looking forward to this weekend. Matt has Hailey, so we'll get to see her. The week and a half she's with her mom seem to get longer and longer all the time. She changes so much from one visit to the next. Pardon the whine, but I still really miss having her with me every day. They are supposed to go to court in September. He got a letter from his lawyer on July 11, telling him that going to trial would cost between x and x amount of dollars and he (the lawyer) required 10% of the highest amount before trial. So, Matt assumed (you know what they say about assuming anything - especially where the law is concerned) that he would have until September to get the money. Oh hell no, the lawyer's secretary called him on Tuesday (or was it Wednesday) telling him they needed the money by August 1. Wow, how considerate.
Uh oh, Mr. Happy is coming to bed, better get ready to hit the hay - or wait, maybe he's just raiding the fridge...
Long story short - Matt got the money, thanks to his friend Joe, Mom, and myself. Of course Steve opted out of the "save Hailey" program. "I feel sorry for him, but..." Yeah, so much for how much he loves Hailey. About as much as he loves me, apparently.
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