Gotta Love 'Em!

Reading a friend's FB profile tonight about something his son said, and how it was so funny because he mispronounced the word reminded me of the following conversation with Meg when she was in 4th grade:

Meg: I learned a new word in school today.

Me: Cool! What is it?

Meg: Reardeveer. (Phonetic spelling - for obvious reasons.)

Me: What?! (wondering what I just heard)

Meg: Reardeveer.

Me: (After trying to figure out if I've ever heard such a word - especially as a 4th grader...) Meg, I don't think there is such a word.

Meg: Yes, there is. I learned it in school today.

Me: No, I don't think there is any such word. I've never heard anything like it.

Meg: (Getting seriously annoyed with me.) Well, that was the word.

Me: (Looking at her in the rear view mirror - a light comes on...) Do you mean rear view mirror?

Meg: NO! I'm telling you the word is REAR-DE-VEER! (Finally figures out a way for me to understand...) It's another word for your bottom.

Me: (Lightbulb moment) Oh, you mean derriere!

Meg: (Totally frustrated with me by this point) THAT'S WHAT I SAID!

Me: (Totally chastised...) Oh.

This one is another one of my favorites. A little background on this story - Meg was about the same age as the last story, and she had painted her fingernails a horrifying yellow color. She had a small cyst on the outside corner of her eye, so we were at the doctor's office and he recommended surgery with a general anesthetic. This conversation took place while w were talking to the nurse who had scheduled the surgery.

Meg: (To the nurse) Do you like my nail polish?

Nurse: It's certainly different.

Meg:  Mom doesn't like it, she says it looks like I have gonorrhea.

The nurse and I both gasp, I think probably for different reasons....

Me: I did no no such thing!!! I said it looked like you had JAUNDICE!

Meg:  Oh well, I was close...

The nurse was still laughing as we went out the door. I'm sure we made her day.

This might be my all time favorite though - and I'm only sharing this because she NEVER reads my blog... She was probably about 12, maybe 13 when we had this lovely mother-daughter exchange.

Meg: I'm having a horrible stomach ache.

Me: Is it a stomach ache or is it the cramps? (She has a lot of "tummy trouble" just like her mama...)

Meg: Well, I'm not going to throw up, if that's what you mean.

Me: Okay. Is your period coming? That will give you cramps sometimes.

Meg: I don't know. My period is so erotic.

Me: (Seriously, by this time I'm getting used to these conversations...) Do you mean erratic?

Meg: Erratic, erotic... What's the difference? (Shrugs her shoulders and walks away...)

I give up.