Saturday, November 12, 2011

I hate deer season. Hate, hate, hate it.

It's times like this when I know that Steve doesn't know or understand how I feel, physically or emotionally. I cannot handle being home alone with six dogs. I love my dogs to death, they are an extension of me and they're the only ones who are there for me when I really feel like crap. However, when I feel like crap, I cannot take care of all 6 of them. And not only does Steve HAVE to go deer hunting, he has to go for five days - he's gone for 2 days before the season even opens! What the hell? Friday morning I got up, went to the bathroom and came back to bed to find that Cookie had peed in the bed. And in all her littleness, she didn't miss a thing but the pillows! So I had to strip the bed, carry everything downstairs, wash, dry, and remake the bed. It's time like that, that I really miss my little trailer. Everything was on one floor. Here I can stay on the main floor, but the washer and dryer are still downstairs and I can't carry a full laundry basket upstairs anymore. It's easy to shove stuff DOWN, but it's another matter altogether to get it back UP.

I had a good day today, I really did. Went to Goodwill and found a pair of jeans and then I went to Wal-Mart and got dad some Husker pajama pants and a Husker ball cap (he never wears a ball cap, but he told me today he wanted one...) for his birthday, and a card. Matt was going to bring Hails over today, but but she had a bad case of vomiting at Bagel Bin, so they decided to stay home. I asked Matt if I could stop by there, so I got her a couple sticker books and a color books, and I stopped by there. She was so happy to see me and I was thrilled to see her too! We visited for a little bit - we played with her sticker book and she colored a bit, and then we read some books. She has a harmonica and she was so cute playing with that! She blow a note and then she'd laugh and giggle, play another note, laugh and giggle, I wish I would have had my iPod with me, or my camera that does videos, she was so damn cute! Magann said Hailey was going to be over during the week, so they'd try to stop over. I hope so. It's been a month since I saw her and I can't believe how much she's changed! You could understand her before, but she still talked a lot of baby talk that you kind of had to figure out what was going on... Now she talks and talks and talks, and only rarely is hard to understand. She wanted to call Stephen on the phone, but he wasn't home. She loves to talk to him. We talked about everybody in Stephen's family and how much she loves baby Kaylee... She's growing up SO fast... She told me about her hayrack ride at the pumpkin patch, and the bee on her apple at the orchard. It's hard to believe she's only 2!

Anyway, by the time I got hom I was hurting pretty bad. Like, I actually called Meg to see if she could come feed the dogs bad. She was busy tonight, Jason had a show at Northwest, I think she said, so that was out. Mom was going out to dinner with Sue and Smitty, so that was out. I may or may not have dropped a few F bombs, and took a pain pill and crawled into bed. The dogs just had to wait. They weren't happy, but I just couldn't do it. Tomorrow Mel, Meg, and I are going to Grand Island for dad's birthday, and then, FINALLY, on Monday Steve will be home. I swear to God, this is the LAST freaking year I'm going to stay here by myself. We'll see how I am by Monday.  Steve did call tonight - we had a lousy connection (how ironic is that?). Brett got a big buck today, only 3 points, but Steve said it must weight about 250 pounds, bigger than anyone (from their group) has ever gotten. Cool. Wish Steve had gotten a couple so he could just come home. As if...

I went to see Dr. S on Friday. We had a little chat about whether or not this stuff that I've noticed lately is due to MCTD or fibro... He noticed that he hadn't had an ANA or any other rheumatological blood tests done since Dr. Klein had done them last, so we got those. I like Dr. S, I really do, but I felt again like I used to feel when I first got sick. Nothing we can do about the possible esophageal problems because they aren't constant. He can order the tests, but if I'm not having the problem every day, so the tests really wouldn't show anything. sigh... We'll see what the blood work shows. The last ANA was negative, but that was the first negative one in quite some time, so we'll see how things stand now. I'm going to stay on the Savella until the end of December, if I haven't noticed some relief by then, he'll taper me off that. I kind of think to myself that if I'm not getting relief from a fibro drug, doesn't that make sense that maybe it's not fibro pain? He did change my hydrocodone to the 10/325, so I can take 2 at a time if I need to without going over my Tylenol limit for the day. That's some good news I guess. Save a little bit of my liver anyway. Ha ha ha... Small joke. That's about it, I guess, until I get those results. Happy Veteran's Day to all my friends and family who are vets - even if they don't read my rambling... I'm so proud of you and all you did to keep us free.

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