Surgery and the best nurse EVER!

I had surgery to remove that stupid abscessed cyst from under my arm the other day. Piece of cake, I don't know what I was so worried about. I have to give credit where credit is due though - I had the best nurse EVER! She got an IV started without numbing medication, in one stick, and I have no bruise! She was so funny too, we got along wonderfully! And Dr. Drobny is the best anesthesiologist in the world! I told him last time I had MAC anesthesia the drape over my face made me very claustrophobic, so he placed the drape over my neck and up around my face so it was more like a barrier than a cover. That's the last thing I remember. He told me in the pre-op room, "I can't guarantee that's you'll be asleep, but I can damn well guarantee you won't feel any pain". And I didn't. He was great!

So, in the end, the cyst is gone, I had a great nurse, a great anesthesiologist, and a great surgeon, Dr. Zadalis. I think Immanuel Medical Center is definitely the place to go if you have any health issues - good teamwork and a great atmosphere.

This picture is of me - after surgery, with Beth, RN - If I ever have to have outpatient surgery again, I hope she's my nurse! The OR nurse was really great too, but I met her after I'd already had a dose of Versed, so the only thing I really remember about her is that she had cold hands! But she was very nice and I appreciate her too!

Thank you so much for your kind words...

So, apparently the son and his ex-girlfriend have done the mediation thing and she doesn't want Hailey to be spending the night at our house anymore. Really? I can think of a lot of bad words to say right now, but I'm really trying to be better about that. All I can say is Really? We're so bad to her here, right? She has her own room here, this is the most stable place she has in her little life. In the past 17 months you have lived in 4 places, you're taken her God knows where, YOU broke her leg, she came to my house with bruises all over her back from YOU or your "boyfriend" or your parents, yet you don't want her to be at our house? You have a lot of freaking nerve. We stood by you when you were pregnant because your own parents wouldn't speak to you, and this is how you decide to treat us? You're so kind. It's so nice you're thinking of what's best for Hailey. And on top of all this, you think you should have sole custody and make all the decisions regarding Hailey? You don't even know what you want to do with your life and you think you can be in charge of hers? I'm so furious with you right now. I don't regret being kind to you or trying to help you when you needed it, we did what was right - what I have to wonder is how you sleep at night being such a total loser and wanting to drag your daughter down with you.

What it boils down to is this... I don't care what happens to you from this point on. Hailey and Matt are my concern, not you. I'm done being polite, I'm done trying to get along with you, I'm just done. Good bye.

Missing My Blessings

Funny as you get older you realize how much the choices you made when you were younger shaped your life.

When I was younger I wanted to marry a member of the church, wanted to get married in the temple, and have a "forever" family. I made a lot of bad choices and didn't reach those goals. I wasn't that much bothered at the time. I thought "We have our whole lives ahead of us, he'll join the church". So far, that hasn't come to pass, and the older I get, the harder it is not to miss the blessings I'm missing out on.

I think about last Friday night when Hailey became ill late in the evening and we ended up having to take her to the emergency room. How wonderful it would have been for Steve to be able to give her a blessing before we went. It would have been even nicer to have her father be able to give her a father's blessing, but that is his choice, not mine. I wish also that she had received a blessing when she was born, but again, that isn't my choice to make.

So, here I sit today with surgery on my schedule tomorrow and I wish again that my husband could give me a blessing. Instead, my home teachers will come over tonight and I'll get a blessing from them. I know it's still a blessing from a member of the priesthood, that it doesn't really "matter" who gives me the blessing - but it matters to me. I'd like the man I'm married to to be able to do those kind of things. To be able to trust the person I married to give me that kind of protection and blessing. It does matter.

Patience is a Virtue - I must not have much virtue

Went this morning to talk to Candi at Immanuel Village about dad. I really hate it when in talking to someone you realize something that you don't even want to admit to yourself. There's no way dad is going to be able to live in assisted living. By the time we're done with Medicaid waivers and all their hoop jumping, and the VA gets their information and make a final determination, it could take months. With the rapid decline in dad's health and his memory, not to mention his just plain old Swedish disposition, skilled care is what we're looking at. I never once in a million years pictured my dad in a nursing home. Never, ever, ever, ever. Apparently he never did either, which is why he never purchased long-term care insurance or saved any money. Terrific.

Whatever the outcome, I feel so good to have talked to Candi today. She was very helpful and just made me see things are not as good as I want to believe they are. We can't get dad to work with us, he needs to be someplace he can't wander off (eventually), and he has the issues with his medication and not even being able to see to load his insulin syringe. I didn't want to see that assisted living wouldn't be the best place. I guess I just can't imagine dad in a skilled care facility.

Life goes on though, whether you want it to, or not.

Shorty had to be put to sleep this morning. She got into a fight with Zoe and Zoe did so much damage to Shorty's trachea she had to be put down. I'm so MAD at myself for even giving Shorty to Missy. Shorty had been having aggression issues for the past couple of months and they had been getting worse and worse, so today this fight happened and Shorty was on the losing end. The only reason it got this bad was because Missy wouldn't take her to the vet. She told me Shorty would go to the vet in December, then in January, and here it is nearly the middle of February and she couldn't take her because she didn't have any money. She has money for everything else she wants, including a skin care kit that cost over $500, but no money to take care of her dogs? I have no sympathy for her. I do feel sorry for Shorty though, more than I can say. I thought it would be a good home and I was most certainly wrong. That's going to prey on my conscience for a long time.

Missy, however, is back in her groove - loving all the attention losing her dog has brought. She and dad both think Mel should apologize to her. I'm baffled trying to figure out why it's Mel's fault that Missy can't take care of her dogs. Everyone else managed to keep the Shorty separated from Zoe and Medusa, except for Missy. Dad told me that Missy told him the kids let Shorty out of Adam's room. Adam says Shorty was still in his room when he left for school. With her history, I'm much more liable to believe Adam than I am Missy. What a mess. The wedge between everyone just gets wider and wider.